The party assists Hakon?, Varangian? warlord and follower of Nikolai, in fending off an invasion of creatures from Jotunheim?.

***: Obormot (Obormot@pool-98-116-31-120.nycmny.east.verizon.net) has joined the channel
***: Albrecht (Adium@cpe-24-90-76-46.nyc.res.rr.com) has joined the channel
***: Taras (IceChat9@99-61-70-41.lightspeed.austtx.sbcglobal.net) has joined the channel
Obormot\Arcturus: Hi
Obormot\Arcturus: Who do we have? Speak up
Taras: Me
Taras: I am the first speak up!
***: Sabin is now known as Nikolai
Taras: \o/
Nikolai: second
* Taras grins smugly at Nikolai
Nikolai: third
Taras: Hey you can't have two!
Nikolai: fourth
Taras: So the answer appears to be two.
Albrecht: i have always been here.
Albrecht: Jay should be here shortly, delivery arrived
Albrecht: also Taras
Albrecht: prep Devil's Eye
Albrecht: it is great
Albrecht: and a blackguard 2 spell
Albrecht: BoVD
***: mrcab is now known as Boris
Obormot\Gaia: btw
Boris: I have food!
Obormot\Gaia: Are we getting Chris
Nikolai: he's here
Nikolai: making tea
Taras: teahee
Taras: :3
Albrecht: also check the wiki; back when I had nothing better to do with my life I filled in all the non-Core spells on spell lists somewhere
Taras: ...
Taras: devil's eye seems useful :l
Nikolai: So Sandy
Nikolai: one thing I realized is we never discussed that whole getting Brunhilda out of The Other World bit
Nikolai: I at least wanted to make sure she would worship Nikolai
Obormot\Gaia: Well
Obormot\Gaia: I think that's actually a question for Chris
Taras: What is the duration on Devil's Eye
Nikolai: sure
Boris: hah
Nikolai: my point however is that you were supposed to follow up
Nikolai: and didn't
Albrecht: I think it's 10/level? You'll need to check
Nikolai: so maybe we can do that real quick now
Obormot\Gaia: I asked you like, a week ago
Obormot\Gaia: Whether we had anything else
Taras: Owned.
Nikolai: Um
Nikolai: and I said
Nikolai: that part
Obormot\Gaia: brb a sec phone
Nikolai: and you said
Nikolai: let's handle it later
Taras: Procrastinowned
***: Sven (cgranger@pool-108-30-234-50.nycmny.fios.verizon.net) has joined the channel
Nikolai: so chris do you think Brunhilda would accept Nikolai as her deity
Taras: But he's a pretty pathetic god for the time being
Taras: I mean, look who he hangs out with.
Obormot\Gaia: ^
Obormot\Gaia: That is who
Obormot\Gaia: :x
Taras: :(
Sven: better than Volos, right?
Nikolai: yep
Nikolai: totes
Taras: Well Volos is all
Taras: business and harvest too
Nikolai: yes
* Boris still thinks she shoudl worship Amir, just sayin
Nikolai: toil endlessly
Sven: she was always the Thor sort, but I'm sure Odin's replacement is fine too
Taras: plenty and fertility are pretty awesome
Taras: You're Odin B
Taras: Maybe Odin B-
Obormot\Gaia: Dva
Nikolai: maybe we'll get a Thor-replacement soon
Obormot\Gaia: imo
Taras: Thor is here.
Obormot\Gaia: Where's Oliver :|
Taras: We would need an armory.
Nikolai: go down to the Aesir discount outlet
Sven: we believe that Nikolai is working hard on his studies to bring that grade up to at least a B+
Obormot\Gaia: Anyone know his textable #
Nikolai: pick up a pantheon
Taras: http://ddragon.leagueoflegends.com/cdn/img/champion/splash/Pantheon_1.jpg
Taras: Pantheon can jump across the map :l
Nikolai: i have attempted to text him
Obormot\Gaia: Ok well
Obormot\Gaia: We'll start for now.
Obormot\Gaia: ROLL CALL!
Sven: wat
Nikolai: bat
Taras: matt
Boris: zat
Taras: For someone who is always here, he seems to never be here.
Nikolai: 'nik'tel
Albrecht: Huzzah
Obormot\Gaia: https://www.destroyallsoftware.com/talks/wat
Obormot\Gaia: ALRIGHT!
Nikolai: Let's talk about ruby!
Obormot\Gaia: WELCOME to tonight's SPECIAL* D&D 40th anniversary edition of BEYOND RAGNAROK!
Boris: yield
Obormot\Gaia: *Specialness not guaranteed.
Obormot\Gaia: I'm going to assume that everyone here has been diligently reading their email and also all relevant forum threads so I won't do a general recap
Obormot\Gaia: Does anyone need a recap on any SPECIFIC issues?
Taras: Devil's Eye is 1m/lvl
Nikolai: did everyone read their email
Nikolai: is the real question
Obormot\Gaia: Nikolai: retrieval of Brunhilda from the Other World goes fine; if you want to talk to Volos about specific things, we can do that, but otherwise we can just assume it's handled
Albrecht: 5 minutes is still worth it on going into a dungeon
Nikolai: cool
Albrecht: now talk Brunhilda into worshipping you
Nikolai: I mean
Obormot\Gaia: Sounds like he did
Nikolai: I figure I just did
Albrecht: by which I mean, into not rage + charging you
Nikolai: I don't see why she would
Nikolai: I just saved her from eternal toil.
Nikolai: and delivered her to temporary food and drink
Nikolai: before resurrecting her
Nikolai: soooo
Nikolai: i think I'm covered
Sven: bitches love food and drink
Nikolai: see?
Obormot\Gaia: So Brunhilda is currently resurrected and back in Midgard, yes?
Nikolai: Uh, depends on the timing of the various events I think
Obormot\Gaia: Or do you plan to do that like, on the eve/morning of the battle
Nikolai: But assuming we got that to happen with the volos high volkh
Nikolai: yes
Obormot\Gaia: Have Brunhilda pop out of the metaphorical battle-cake
Boris: sweet
Nikolai: i kind of did want to do that?
Nikolai: but
Nikolai: it's not necessary, it depends more on when things occur
Boris: having her tag along would make Siegfriend feel better?
Obormot\Gaia: It's totally doable.
Nikolai: ok so
Nikolai: let's say that happens.
Obormot\Gaia: k.
Obormot\Gaia: So, specific recap for anyone? Going once, twice?
Obormot\Gaia: No? Good.
Albrecht: point me at what I need to kill.
Nikolai: So Adam's suggestion was Combat
Nikolai: Anyone object?
Sven: I mean
Sven: it's been so long that I'm sure I've forgotten all sorts of shit
Albrecht: (I am sort of assuming it will somehow not be a 12 hour combat)
Sven: but I can't think of a specific recap I want, no
Nikolai: (where combat == go kill some monsters that are threatening Nikolai's worshippers)
Obormot\Gaia: So, here is some DM Advice™ for you guys
Obormot\Gaia: Of which the in-character-relevant portions thereof you can take to be commentary made to Nikolai by Gierahod, his faithful valkyrie advisor
Nikolai: <3
Sven: cool-ass name
Albrecht: "Stabbing yourself in the face is fun"
Boris: ombat here being a show of stregnth?
Nikolai: combat here being a massive obliteration.
Nikolai: kill all the things
Nikolai: make them dead.
Obormot\Gaia: The idea in this combat is not to personally destroy all opposition, because ooc) that would be pointlessly tedious and time-consuming, and ic) the point here is a show of divine power and support, rather than simply objective achievement
Boris: wow
Nikolai: ok yes
Nikolai: that
Boris: ...cool
Nikolai: so this will be surgical
Obormot\Gaia: So (says Gierahod), you should probably kill things you do kill with maximum visible coolness, and otherwise do what you can to empower your chosen side (i.e. Hakon's forces) to be awesome themselves
Obormot\Gaia: And triumph over opposition
Nikolai: find the biggest threat that is most likely to be above challenging for Hakon's guys
Obormot\Gaia: Therefore those are your two objectives
Nikolai: and smite it in the flashiest way possible
Obormot\Gaia: a) Kill specific threatening shit, look awesome doing it
Boris: So this is the Germany stuff
Nikolai: No
Obormot\Gaia: b) Help Hakon's forces with assorted support
Nikolai: I asked: did everyone read their email
Obormot\Gaia: How you achieve those objectives is of course 100% up to you.
Nikolai: Jay did you read your email
Boris: apparently not hard enough
Boris: nikolai's plan for winnign worshipers
Obormot\Gaia: Well
Nikolai: quick recap.
Nikolai: Hakon finds his life and position as the head of most powerful of the Varangian clans in danger as frost creatures from Jotunheim and other clans encroach on his territory from both sides. With Brunhilda gone, the fear holding them in check has run out. Hakon, his children, and his warriors fight bravely, but potentially stand to lose in their coming conflict. 
Nikolai: Furthermore, upon reflection of the nature of the afterlife and the sequence of events of Brunhilda's death, Nikolai realized that Brunhilda's soul was claimed by Volos, rather than going to her final rest in Valhalla. Seeing Hakon's dismay and rage at this fact, Nikolai decides to treat with Volos for ownership of Brunhilda's soul. This goes favorably, as Volos seems fine with reestablishing the old pact he had with Odin, which allows any of the Aesir's 
Nikolai: faithful who die in battle in Russian lands to go to Valhalla. Nikolai agrees to this and makes haste to retrieve Brunhilda's soul from The Other World. Furthermore, Nikolai burned a Volos church voucher to obtain this information as well as a True Resurrection.
Nikolai: Hakon goes to battle against the hordes of Jotunheim the day after Nikolai puts these plans into motion. Assuming the rest of the party agrees, Nikolai intends to bring Brunhilda and the party to the battle to aid him in his victory.
Obormot\Gaia: Yeah this is up north, the Varangian lands
Sven: this is sure to get followers for days
Sven: and Sven is all about helping his homeland
Obormot\Gaia: Who, ever since Ragnarok, have been threatened by assorted creatures fleeing the eternal storm in Jotunheim
Obormot\Gaia: And lately they have been more organized
Boris: I like this plan
Sven: dat OG motivation
Albrecht: so most of the shit we're fighting here will be trivial?
Obormot\Gaia: No the point is that you won't be fighting the trivial shit.
Albrecht: we want to seek out the tough guys and kill them showily
Nikolai: Yes the point here is that this is a big army battle
Obormot\Gaia: The trivial shit will be fought by the mortals whose worship Nikolai is attempting to get
Obormot\Gaia: Right
Albrecht: right
Boris: Shuld I find out if they blend, or shoudl I go with surgical assassinations as Nikolai points at things
Nikolai: little dudes vs our little dudes
Nikolai: they are lead by a big dude
Albrecht: we may wade through some trivial dudes as we walk to the big dudes
Nikolai: or several medium dudes and a big dude
Nikolai: well
Nikolai: we MAY teleport onto the big dudes' heads
Nikolai: and slice them in half
Nikolai: or drop rocks on them
Nikolai: or pillars of fire.
Nikolai: you know.
Albrecht: well yeah
Taras: fire pillars are overrated
Albrecht: but I mean, if I just killed big dude X
Albrecht: and there's 20 trivials in between me and big dude Y
Albrecht: wading pool
Nikolai: maybe!
Nikolai: we'll see
Boris: yeah Boris is mostly only good at surgical stabs
Obormot\Arcturus: Flight and teleportation are a melee character's best friends!
Obormot\Arcturus: Anyway
Obormot\Arcturus: This battle is taking place Tomorrow
Obormot\Arcturus: i.e. October the 12th, 1277
Obormot\Arcturus: Got a game plan?
Obormot\Arcturus: Info-gathering is probably part of it, I'm assuming?
Albrecht: polish armor
Nikolai: game plan: take the party to Valhalla
Taras: If our goal is to be maximally awesome
Taras: Taras requests embiggening
Nikolai: get Brunhilda ready
Taras: For the fight
Albrecht: talk V into some low-grade illusions for us all
Nikolai: Taras will get his buffs
Taras: \o/
Nikolai: as will anyone else
Albrecht: just like… flavor enhancers
Nikolai: observe Hakon from my chair
Nikolai: i like flavor.
Nikolai: I am sure V would be all over that
Sven: how much time has elapsed between Geryon and this?
Sven: err, Amon
Nikolai: like, a couple of days at most
Boris: " Taras requests embiggening
Boris: <Nikolai> get Brunhilda ready"
Nikolai: -_-
Obormot\Gaia: Couple days, yeah.
Sven: it's about time I started using an animal companion again
Boris: dinosaur
Nikolai: definitely dinosaur.
Nikolai: so
Sven: did we ever take the time to observe dinosaurs?
Nikolai: Nikolai keeps an eye on Hakon's preparations
Nikolai: and I want to pick an appropriate pre-battle time to deliver Brunhilda on a pillar of light from the heavens or some such chicanery
Boris: Should Nikolai provide them with a heroe's feast?
Nikolai: Nah
Nikolai: too ordinary
Boris: (wow brain, way to add that e)
Nikolai: actually
Nikolai: sandy what do you think of that
Nikolai: seems like a good bang for buck buff but not flashy enough.
Nikolai: and by "you" I mean use Gierahod as a mouthpiece
Boris: I mean it's ordinary, but it might give them hope of somethign amazing happening if nobody was otherwise going to provide it
Boris: its foundational
* xthemage lives once more
Albrecht: it's ordinary but high level
***: xthemage is now known as Vasily
Nikolai: well
Taras: Everybody loves a giant feast!
Boris: You'll have people saying how Nikolai's Turkey Legs provided them with strength and fortitude to strike damaging blows
Taras: Especially warriors.
Nikolai: that only gets 20 people for me
Nikolai: so maybe not the right scale
Albrecht: ah fair enough
Boris: Throw a miracle at a bigger feast
Nikolai: nah
Nikolai: fuck it
Obormot\Gaia: Gierahod says
Albrecht: prep bunches of it
Albrecht: how many dudes are there?
Nikolai: this is pretty lame
Boris: k
Nikolai: well it's an army
Nikolai: Sandy how many dudes are there anyway?
Albrecht: right, lots
Obormot\Gaia: So
Obormot\Gaia: From what you know
Obormot\Gaia: Hakon commands about 1500 warriors
Obormot\Gaia: You never had a conversation with him about his enemies' numbers/strength/etc.
Obormot\Gaia: Maybe you want to do that
Obormot\Gaia: But it's much larger
Obormot\Gaia: You do know that
Obormot\Gaia: As far as Brunhilda goes
Obormot\Gaia: Gierahod says
Obormot\Gaia: Pillar of light is good, sure
Obormot\Gaia: Adding things is even better
Albrecht: hmm
Obormot\Gaia: Perhaps some ravens
Obormot\Gaia: As heralds of her arrival
Nikolai: man i wish I had some ravens
Albrecht: can we get her a valkyrie horse?
Obormot\Gaia: An asperi? Sounds doable
Boris: You're a fucking diety, spawn some Ravens
Obormot\Gaia: Someone have Handle Animal?
Boris: otherwise have Sven summon a pair 
* Taras snickers
Taras: Handle Animal
Obormot\Gaia: Summons/illusions, sure
Albrecht: Vasily can illusion up ravens easy
Boris: I have Wild Empathy +1
Boris: ;)
Obormot\Gaia: I mean you're the god of magic, surely you can figure something out.
Nikolai: Yes of course
Nikolai: that's not really what I meant.
Nikolai: I meant like
Nikolai: Hugin and Munin
Obormot\Gaia: Yes well
Nikolai: real ravens
Obormot\Gaia: Ragnarok.
Nikolai: :p
Nikolai: yep
Nikolai: i know
Nikolai: anyway
Nikolai: we can do that
Sven: my handle animal is shite
Nikolai: SNA or some such
Sven: but I do have it
Obormot\Gaia: Worst case is you get Kai up there
Obormot\Gaia: He has a solid HA score.
Nikolai: Sven can handle it
Obormot\Gaia: k.
***: You are now known as DM\Gaia
Albrecht: https://www.dropbox.com/s/tx5cccfdlskx1o9/2013-10-12%2017.17.55.jpg
***: Obormot\Arcturus is now known as DM\Arcturus
Albrecht: that's what you need
Nikolai: So that's fine
Nikolai: lol thanks.
Nikolai: So that part is fine
Nikolai: and that's the plan
Nikolai: then after
Nikolai: I will observe his foes
Nikolai: and see what we're dealing with
Sven: so if we haven't observed dinosaurs yet (since I don't remember), I'm'a try out a dire tiger
Nikolai: i think Sandy mentioned we knew of dinosaurs existing
Nikolai: in like
Nikolai: Malbolge?
Nikolai: maybe?
Nikolai: and we could go find some
Nikolai: or something
Sven: but that's probably not an expedition to happen the day between Amon and this project
Nikolai: well
Nikolai: maybe not
Sven: so I'll go snatch up a cat
Nikolai: depends on how trivial Sandy says it is
DM\Arcturus: You were able to get a dinosaur in Malbolge
DM\Arcturus: We went over this
Nikolai: see?
Nikolai: trivial
Sven: alright then
DM\Arcturus: I in fact have a note right here about how Taras made a Diplomacy check to acquire said dinosaur, failed it by 1, and this will someday somehow cause horrible doom for you guys
Sven: time to look at dinosaurs
Sven: lol
DM\Arcturus: I haven't decided what that doom will be yet but rest assured it's gonna be horrible.
Sven: oh right
Nikolai: anyway
Nikolai: I think I've sufficiently outlined the first steps of the plan?
Nikolai: For us to go ahead and execute them?
Boris: lol
DM\Arcturus: Um, executive summarize for me please
Nikolai: ok
Nikolai: Taking the party to Valhalla
Nikolai: Sit in chair
Taras: Can I sit?
Nikolai: no?
DM\Arcturus: Oh you should let him
DM\Arcturus: Please let him sit in the chair
Nikolai: >:|
Nikolai: Observe Hakon's preparations
Sven: lol
Nikolai: find an appropriate time to deliver Brunhilda
Nikolai: do so with aforementioned divine stuff and ravens and shit
Nikolai: then observe Hakon's enemies
Nikolai: see what we're dealing with
Nikolai: k?
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
DM\Arcturus: So, observing Hakon's preparations, you see the following:
DM\Arcturus: Hakon's keep is built high on a hillside, with the surrounding slopes and foothills holding the settlement around it, where his clan lives, and several smaller clans allied with his
DM\Arcturus: Knowing that the hordes of Jotunheim approach from the east, Hakon has chosen to force the confrontation on a low hill a couple of miles northeast; the area serves as a passage between glacial cliffs to the north and a frozen marsh to the south
DM\Arcturus: The spellcasters at Hakon's disposal — almost entirely druids, led by his middle son (also a druid) — have been at work prearing the site of battle with various druidic spells
DM\Arcturus: Shaping the battlefield, creating various traps, both magical and mundane
DM\Arcturus: Meanwhile, his scouts have been conducting recon on the enemy forces
DM\Arcturus: You gather that the enemy numbers approximately 10,000 snow goblins
Sven: in case it freaks anyone out, I got a t-rex
DM\Arcturus: As well as a number of other creatures
Sven: because you might as well
DM\Gaia: The scouts report several hundred ice trolls
Albrecht: T-Rex is kinda win
Boris: What wearpons does it wield?
DM\Gaia: Many winter wolves, who serve the goblins as cavalry mounts
Albrecht: but I think that your animal companion should be that gestalt druid I played
Albrecht: totally an animal
DM\Gaia: Some creatures the Varangians call "Hounds of Thrym"
Sven: lol
DM\Gaia: And, of course, the beings who lead the horde, who you gather from the conversations to be some sort of demons or demon giants
DM\Gaia: Their leader being someone named Chagantai
Nikolai: knowledge teh planes!
DM\Gaia: You have never heard of this dude
Nikolai: ?
Nikolai: ok.
DM\Gaia: Anyone have K:local: Varangian lands?
Albrecht: Vasily, perhaps?
DM\Gaia: I suspect not.
Vasily: Let's see
Albrecht: btw Oliver, you need to make V public or something
Vasily: it is
Nikolai: icloud beta is just slowballs
Boris: How big is he?  He's Chagantai
DM\Gaia: No it was erroring
DM\Gaia: Anyway
DM\Gaia: If you want to talk to Hakon about it
DM\Gaia: You can
Nikolai: meh
Vasily: Novgorod is the nearest local
DM\Gaia: k.
DM\Gaia: Yeah, you guys don't know wtf
Nikolai: i will drop albrecht boris and taras on its head
Nikolai: and it will be endeadened
Boris: sounds right
Nikolai: ok so he is planning some good shit
Albrecht: works for me
DM\Gaia: The final word about the battle preparations is
Nikolai: dude should be praying to me is what he shooould be doing
DM\Gaia: Despite all of that, Hakon does not expect to actually win this battle; so, as a contingency, he has planned that if the fight goes against him, his warriors will turn and retreat back to his keep, across several miles of landscape that have similarly been prepared with assorted traps
Albrecht: I presume Brunhilda will be holding the front line
DM\Gaia: And then attempt to win by attrition as the invading army attempts to attack up the hill to his stronghold.
Sven: what do you think, guys? big spells or biiiiiiiig spells?
Nikolai: both
DM\Gaia: And of course he's also praying to you.
Nikolai: ok so like
Nikolai: details on that
Nikolai: when/where
Nikolai: altar?
Nikolai: something?
DM\Gaia: Yep
Boris: Open big
Nikolai: so he does like a pre-battle prayer at his stronghold?
Boris: then let some medium things go in for attrition
Nikolai: this is important stuff
DM\Gaia: Yes
DM\Gaia: Sacrifice
Nikolai: ok
Nikolai: nice
DM\Gaia: Before the battle
Boris: s the army pulls back maybe BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG
Nikolai: when he does that
Nikolai: I will send in Brunhilda via gate
Nikolai: as previously discussed
Nikolai: Telling her this:
DM\Gaia: Ravens flock through the gate and disperse
DM\Gaia: Light shines forth
Nikolai: "Return to your husband and win the day in my name"
DM\Arcturus: k.
Boris: that was sweet :)
Boris: (see we're totally not evil)
DM\Arcturus: Hakon & Sons are of course both overjoyed and awed
Nikolai: Nikolai is a fair and just god!
Boris: that's what I said!
Sven: (pssht - worshipers are delicious)
DM\Arcturus: Hakon goes out to his warriors, who are also praying, and the leaders of his allied clans, and proclaims that their prayers have been heard, their sacrifices accepted, and Brunhilda returned to them
DM\Arcturus: And that this is surely an omen of the Allfather's support
DM\Arcturus: In today's battle
Vasily: Just in the nicolai of time
Sven: :|
Nikolai: damn right it is
DM\Arcturus: Everyone cheers, clearly emboldened by the return of their greatest warrior
DM\Arcturus: And they march to war.
* Boris applauds Vasilly
Nikolai: so
Nikolai: their opposition!
Nikolai: what have we
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Nikolai: looking for a general layout of the forces
Nikolai: so I can make some tactical decisions for big spells
DM\Arcturus: A massive camp, currently being broken as the troops prepare
Nikolai: how big is it
Nikolai: see I am having a hard time resisting dropping an Utterdark on them
DM\Arcturus: The army will be almost a mile across, you estimate, when on the march
Nikolai: oh god
Nikolai: you are making it soooo hard
DM\Arcturus: As promised, the vast majority of the enemy is snow goblins
Sven: lol
Sven: I don't think I have anything that big
Boris: just storm of vengeance the fuckers
DM\Arcturus: Mostly on foot, though at least 10% is cavalry: goblins on winter wolves, two to a mount
Albrecht: save it to mop up when we break them
Nikolai: Utterdark >>> Storm of Vengeance
Nikolai: but that is a good point
Albrecht: Utterdark will be you just wiping out the enemy solo
Vasily: Do we need to deal with the army?
DM\Arcturus: There is also several hundred ice trolls, off by themselves
Boris: use it to chase them into the trapped area unprepared
Albrecht: at least all but the top elites
Vasily: Hit the head, imo
Nikolai: Storm of Vengeance is pretty flashy
Boris: so they will run into Hakan's warriors hands unprepared
Albrecht: storm is
Nikolai: So the thing about the army
Albrecht: not great power but big and flashy
Nikolai: is that they vastly outnumber Hakon's army
DM\Arcturus: You spot several huge wolflike creatures scattered about
Albrecht: Hakon's troops can handle the grunts most likely
Nikolai: now he's closing that gap with battlefield control
Nikolai: right
Albrecht: we need to handle the elites
Nikolai: I'm thinking we can burn like one or two big things on shoring up the gap though
DM\Arcturus: And a number of war mastodons
Vasily: Fair enough
DM\Arcturus: Some with saddles for Large creatures
Sven: though I guess control winds covers most of a mile
DM\Arcturus: Others with howdahs and massive drums
Albrecht: the hounds of thrym and the leaders and we should scatter the trolls at least
DM\Arcturus: Nikolai roll Spot please
Sven: and I have enough caster levels to put tornado-level winds in that whole area - does someone want to check my math?
Nikolai: so I'm thinking Sven and I drop 2 Storms on them before they get too close
Nikolai: !try 20;spot
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Nikolai :
* DiceBot (spot)  1d20 < 5 = 5 > + 20 = 25
DM\Arcturus: k
DM\Arcturus: You count over two dozen of the mastodons
DM\Arcturus: Almost as many of the massive wolflike things
DM\Arcturus: And you also spot a couple of some sort of giants
Albrecht: thinking of general battlefield tactics for the era of shield walls…
Vasily: hmm...
Vasily: you know what would be nifty...
Albrecht: anything we can to do minimize the enemy's ability to hit Hakon as a concerted front is also good
DM\Arcturus: Their attire and demeanor suggests that a) they are probably leaders, b) they are from somewhere exotic
Albrecht: but their traps and terrain modifications should do a lot there
Nikolai: I'm wondering about Sven's control winds suggestion
Nikolai: if it's too powerful
DM\Arcturus: Their clothes and accoutrements have both demonic, giant, and Mongol influences
Sven: I don't remember what the consequences of tornado-level winds are to people
Vasily: How about I add some nightmare terrains
Nikolai: ok so
Nikolai: hold on
Nikolai: remember our goal is to do things that will make Hakon's army look good
DM\Arcturus: The wind effects table is at http://www.d20srd.org/srd/weather.htm, fyi
DM\Arcturus: (scroll down)
Nikolai: Now I think there's a certain amount of softening them up we can do
Nikolai: Control Winds might be too much and give the leaders pause
Sven: that's fair
Nikolai: Nightmare Terrain I think isn't appropriate thematically
Nikolai: Storm of Vengeance I think occupies a sweet spot
Nikolai: where it is appropriately big and flashy
Albrecht: so you're looking at your image, and also avoiding turning back the assault before it arrives
Nikolai: lets us weaken both the army as a whole and also get some big strikes in
Nikolai: on the big guys
Nikolai: yeah essentially
Albrecht: yeah utterdark is too far
Nikolai: right
Nikolai: Utterdark is a "oh fuck what is going on run away"
Albrecht: nightmare terrain seems a bit odd but could use it at a distance where Hakon can't see it
Albrecht: Control Winds… sounds like the sort of thing that would definitely make them hunker down
Albrecht: and wait it out
Nikolai: right
Albrecht: throw storm of vengeance on the back of their lines
Nikolai: so I'm thinking in terms of natural disasters
Albrecht: so they can move forward
Nikolai: yes that
Vasily: What about an elemental monolith in the back as well?
Nikolai: making it harder to retreat
Nikolai: elemental monolith is not a bad idea
Boris: you know, a wind wall or two to block a volley of arrows might be nifty, but it's certianly not flashy flashy
Boris: too small to be effective
Nikolai: well SoV also does that
Boris: cool
Nikolai: so dropping it on them when they're at maybe
***: Boris has quit IRC (Quit: Ex-Chat)
Nikolai: 500ft apart
Nikolai: or so
***: Boris (mrcab@pool-108-28-24-209.washdc.fios.verizon.net) has joined the channel
Nikolai: might be good
Nikolai: and then I am thinking Sven's other natural disasters
Nikolai: which are more targetted
Nikolai: for post-engagement
Nikolai: then we pick out the big guys
Nikolai: and hammer them with melee
Nikolai: the giants and the mastodons
Nikolai: the mastodons we can try and get with our SOV lightning
Nikolai: and comets
Nikolai: we'll drop the cleanup crew on the giants
Albrecht: the big wolves are an issue too I think
Nikolai: and that should be good enough I think?
Nikolai: hm
Albrecht: hit them before the mastodons imo
Nikolai: ok well
Nikolai: sure
Albrecht: giants, hounds, mastodons & trolls, whatever else
Vasily: hmm... probably not worth it to expose the skiddy just yet
Nikolai: we can adjust to get more aid if it looks like the soldiers/druids are having a hard time
Nikolai: actually the skidbladnir might be helpful but I agree it's probably not worth it
Nikolai: one thing i was thinking about is how to launch our attacks
Albrecht: it does have the right image at least
Nikolai: Gate in the air is pretty good
Nikolai: but
Nikolai: it requires me concentrating
Nikolai: so I can't do other stuff
Nikolai: flying and invisible is a decent idea
Nikolai: but we don't know what kind of perception abilities those giants might have
DM\Arcturus: If I might make a suggestion
Sven: is frostfell worth it
Nikolai: please do
Nikolai: frostfell I think helps them more than it helps us
Vasily: What we could do is launch from the skiddy
DM\Arcturus: With the Skidbladnir's handy cloud-cloak, you could 
DM\Arcturus: that.
Nikolai: yes Oliver that was what I was thinking.
Nikolai: in terms of helpfulness
Vasily: Can we get like 5 wands of MM?
Nikolai: I don't think we need like
Vasily: in time?
Nikolai: the whole crew
Nikolai: to help
Nikolai: we just need somewhere to stand
Nikolai: while we throw shit
Albrecht: they're a platfrm
Vasily: No, but there's a handful of wizards who can throw some MMs
Nikolai: I know but I am saying it isn't necessary.
Albrecht: they want self-defense
Albrecht: not offense
Albrecht: i.e. any firepower organic to the Skidbladnir is to keep people from fucking with it
Nikolai: sure 
Nikolai: but for this particular excusion
Nikolai: excursion
Nikolai: we're there
Nikolai: so it's irrelevant
Albrecht: true
Vasily: It's something that might be useful... just suggesting that if it's something we can get in time, it might be helpful
Albrecht: if shit gets bad you'll get melee back on board
Nikolai: if the skidbladnir gets boarded somehow this was a failure.
Nikolai: no one should know it's even there
Boris: ^
DM\Arcturus: You always have brass colossus as onboard defense, amirite
DM\Arcturus: I'm sure Neek will gladly serve the cause
Vasily: >.<
Nikolai: nothx
Nikolai: so
Nikolai: I'm ok with arranging that
Nikolai: if you want
Vasily: That?
Vasily: oh, the wands.
Nikolai: having the Skidbladnir
Nikolai: no
Nikolai: not the wands
Nikolai: getting the wands is probably trivial?
Nikolai: I don't care though
Nikolai: it doesn't affect this plan.
Vasily: Doable, Sandy?
DM\Arcturus: Um
DM\Arcturus: Wands of MM?
DM\Arcturus: CL 1? Or CL relevant
Vasily: 1 or 9
Vasily: err...
Vasily: 1 or capped, imo
DM\Arcturus: Which is 9
DM\Arcturus: Right?
Albrecht: it is
Vasily: yes.
Vasily: 9 indeed
Nikolai: anyway
Nikolai: are we taking the skidbladnir to the Varangian lands?
DM\Arcturus: Ok can you get to Cherkessia or Atlantis or somewhere else in a couple hours? and back?
Vasily: probably.
Nikolai: well we're not doing it right now
Boris: oh we could have planned this
Vasily: Yeah... we had a few days iirc
DM\Arcturus: Yeah it seems like CL 9 wands need a bit of a shopping excursion
Nikolai: the wands are a thing Vasily has been talking about for ages, as I recall
Vasily: and if that's the case, Skiddy would have been directed up there.
Nikolai: but, again
DM\Arcturus: Well
DM\Arcturus: THAT is true.
Nikolai: it isn't relevant
DM\Arcturus: LET US ASK THE DIE OF FATE
DM\Arcturus: !roll 1d100;more_than_70
* DiceBot rolls dice for DM\Arcturus : (more_than_70) 1d100 < 30 = 30 > = 30
DM\Arcturus: nope.
Vasily: fair enough
Nikolai: Oliver are you saying having the wands are somehow a pre-requisite for us taking the skidbladnir there?
Vasily: No.
Nikolai: ok then it didn't matter
Vasily: But if we can get them before taking the skiddy into a threatening situation, it would be nice.
Nikolai: you mean, just so the wizards on board can shoot stuff?
Vasily: if and only if stuff decides to investigate
Albrecht: good for them to be able to shoot shit that comes up to them
DM\Arcturus: I mean I'm sure the wizards can just
DM\Arcturus: Prep a solid spell lineup
Nikolai: yeah
Vasily: Probably.
Nikolai: I don't think this is a big deal
DM\Arcturus: Aimed at defending themselves/the ship
Nikolai: anyway
Nikolai: if we're doing that
Nikolai: this becomes much easier
Vasily: So... deploy to explode the leaders.
Albrecht: Yep
Nikolai: well let's go in order
Nikolai: first deploy spells to weaken them
Albrecht: we should fall from heaven, LIKE LIGHTNING!
Nikolai: then that.
Vasily: Ooooh... 
* Vasily can prep Lightning Leap
DM\Arcturus: Hm
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Nikolai: So Sandy this is going to rely a lot on you describing what happens
Nikolai: and us reacting to that
DM\Arcturus: Yep
Albrecht: I'm assuming my SOP buffs and my own wands; anything else thrown on me? Anyone need FoM from my wand?
DM\Arcturus: Just tell me when you're ready to begin
* Boris took Jump when he multiclassed into Dragoon
DM\Arcturus: i.e. when you're done with pre-prep
Nikolai: I'm ready
Nikolai: I think we have a good idea of what's going down
Boris: if we're jumping onto a giant we should probabyl have FoM
Nikolai: I'll also keep that elemental monolith idea in standby
Nikolai: FoM for everyone!
Taras: \o/
Albrecht: !roll 1d4+1
* DiceBot rolls dice for Albrecht : 1d4 < 1 = 1 > + 1 = 2
Albrecht: I'll deduct 6 from my wand then?
Nikolai: well sven and I can cast our own.
Albrecht: 4 deducted instead then
Nikolai: also I think Taras has a wand too
Albrecht: i've got 5 left so responsibility for FoM wanding will soon transition to Taras
Nikolai: if you want to split it
Albrecht: I guess I'll keep 1-2 emergency charges on my wand in the future
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Taras: I can use one of my charges if you'd rather
DM\Arcturus: First:
Vasily: Y'all want some phantom steeds?
Albrecht: V, if you're embiggening, do Taras, otherwise I'll wand him to ogre form
Taras: I dunno how to ride?
Albrecht: I have a boar
Albrecht: I guess I should ride my boar, in fact
Nikolai: riding boar = good plan imo
Taras: That might look delicious to a giant
Albrecht: symbolism, there
DM\Arcturus: I'm going to make you roll a skill check to have the Skidbladnir act suitably cloud-like, i.e. blend in properly
Nikolai: well the giant can try
Vasily: I can embiggen if desired.
Albrecht: less so that I'm going to give a shit about its offense but I guess I'll look i tup
* Taras desires embiggening
DM\Arcturus: That check will be: d20 (rolled by pilot of ship) + half of someone's K:nature + half of someone's Hide
Vasily: Of course...
DM\Arcturus: (ranks)
Vasily: I could also cast thundercloud on Taras with the same spell slot.
Nikolai: so
Albrecht: the same someone?
DM\Arcturus: No
DM\Arcturus: Different people is fine
Sven: 22 ranks of Knowledge Nature here
DM\Arcturus: No Dex on that Hide
Nikolai: Sven or Vasily's K:Nature
DM\Arcturus: Just ranks
Vasily: Sven
Nikolai: plus Boris's Hide
Vasily: V doesn't have
Nikolai: ok
DM\Arcturus: Yep
Nikolai: so 11 from Sven plus how much from Boris?
DM\Arcturus: Let's have a roll to start with, with additional rolls as necessary if you end up doing any aerial maneuvering/etc.
Vasily: I've also got a displacement to share.
Boris: Boris's hide...
Boris: 27
DM\Arcturus: Albrecht: the boar's stats are actually nontrivial, so don't discount using it offensively 
Nikolai: how many ranks Boris
Albrecht: yeah I'm loading it up
Boris: 19 of course
Nikolai: this isn't pathfinder
Nikolai: so that's not an of course imo >_>
Sven: ^
Albrecht: 22 one assumes
Albrecht: max ranks
Albrecht: but then he has more than +5 dex and not that much ACP
DM\Arcturus: Here's where we find out Jay has been applying Pathfinder rules to his max ranks
DM\Arcturus: amirite
Boris: lol
Sven: hah
Boris: I do have 19 written down
DM\Arcturus: Nailed it
Boris: and 21 in other things
DM\Arcturus: Oh well
DM\Arcturus: Maybe not
DM\Arcturus: In any case
DM\Arcturus: That looks like a +20 on that check.
Boris: probably sid "I need a rank somewhere else and I rarely actually use hide"
Vasily: +20?
Albrecht: yeah
Nikolai: maybe you were working that UMD
Vasily: oh, just ranks.
Boris: in fact it looks like I put more than 1 rank into it at levels 11 and 12
Vasily: not ability scores
Nikolai: right.
Albrecht: hmm
Albrecht: it's magic pig or being large.
Albrecht: for this, I'll do magic pig
DM\Arcturus: Roll it up V
Nikolai: don't suck
Vasily: !roll 1d20+20
* DiceBot rolls dice for Vasily : 1d20 < 14 = 14 > + 20 = 34
Nikolai: not bad
DM\Arcturus: Good, good
DM\Arcturus: Ok, description inc.
Boris: not bad
Nikolai: prepare for description-stations!
DM\Arcturus: As the sun rises and the battle approaches, the weather on the battlefield, so clear and cloudless all through the night, worsens
Vasily: Brace for impact(ful storytelling)
DM\Arcturus: Clouds gather and a sharp cold snap grips the region
* Taras steps away from all consoles which could explode
* Boris feels the impending battle hype
DM\Arcturus: This, of course, is just fine for you; looking for all the world like just another stormcloud, you float over the battlefield, seeing the following
DM\Arcturus: On the hilltop, Hakon's warriors have gathered; moving on foot, they've done all they can to mask their exact numbers, using camouflage, tricks like setting up man-sized snowdrifts around where they plan to wait for the enemy, etc.
DM\Arcturus: Their plan is to charge down the hillside once the enemy commits their forces
DM\Arcturus: Meanwhile, the army of goblins approaches from the east, moving slowly
DM\Arcturus: The pounding of great drums sounds from the backs of the mastodons
DM\Arcturus: Roll Spot checks please.
Boris: !try 22
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 15 = 15 > + 22 = 37
Nikolai: !try 20
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Nikolai :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 10 = 10 > + 20 = 30
Sven: oh right, that eyes of the avoral spell is a thing
Sven: !try 37
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 8 = 8 > + 37 = 45
DM\Arcturus: Fine work.
Nikolai: eyes of the avoral ftw
DM\Arcturus: In the front of the army, in several loose formations, ride the winter wolf cavalry; the goblins on their backs carry javelins
DM\Arcturus: Just behind the front ranks of the goblin infantry walk Huge creatures, wolf-like, but with hides that seem to be made of ice and white stone, sharp and spiked
DM\Arcturus: These must be the Hounds of Thrym that Hakon's scouts spoke of
DM\Arcturus: There are about 20 of these
DM\Arcturus: A bit further back is a line of war mastodons, surmounted by goblins pounding immense drums and singing out songs of great conquest and a feast of human bones and flame-seared flesh
DM\Arcturus: Their voices are surprisingly deep and powerful for such small, weak-looking creatures
Nikolai: (for afte ryou're done with the initial description, approx how deep are the enemy ranks?)
Albrecht: skirmishers, the hounds & mastodons to break the line...
DM\Arcturus: Behind even those is another line of mastodons, seven, armored with scales of blue ice; and on these sit seven giants
Boris: fun
DM\Arcturus: Their look reminds you of ogre mages, and of the frost giants of lore; in the middle of that line is a giant with rich attire over his armor, with a darkly glowing spear and an elaborate mustache and beard; his eyes glow blue-white with arcane power
DM\Arcturus: This must be Chagantai
Nikolai: cool
DM\Arcturus: Just behind, Sven notices...
Albrecht: sounds like where we drop the melee
DM\Arcturus: Three riders, mounted on what you can only describe as dire mountain goats
DM\Arcturus: The riders are women, and hideous women at that, old and wrinkled, their hands gnarled and viciously clawed
DM\Arcturus: Roll K:nature.
Nikolai: uh oh
Sven: !try 27
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 1 = 1 > + 27 = 28
Nikolai: -_-
Boris: !try 8
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 15 = 15 > + 8 = 23
Sven: err that's actually a 29
DM\Arcturus: You know little of their capabilities, but you do identify them: these must be the creatures known as marenas, or marzannas, or, in the local terms — winter hags
DM\Arcturus: They are said to be personifications of cold death; as there are three, you surmise that this is a coven, which means that whatever powers they have, are amplified and increased
DM\Arcturus: You do NOT see any of the ice trolls...
DM\Arcturus: ... at first; then Sven looks to the south, to the frozen marshes that abut this plain
DM\Arcturus: There, creeping through the fog between the twisted, bare trees, are the ice trolls
DM\Arcturus: They look to be circling around to come upon the humans from another side
Nikolai: ah
Vasily: Mayhaps we deploy there.
Nikolai: so that's a good candidate of using big spells
Boris: that's flame strike matereal
Nikolai: nah flame strike is too small I think
Vasily: Fire Monolith
Albrecht: flamestrike for the hags
Nikolai: sandy we're going to need some sizes
Nikolai: to determine what things are most appropriate
Albrecht: we need something to at least call attention to the trolls
Nikolai: yeah
Albrecht: walls of fire might help there but Hakon has druids
Albrecht: we just need him to be aware of them
Albrecht: the hags and the giants are where I would begin
Nikolai: we need that and some damage
Nikolai: yes our heavy hitters I think should go on the giants
DM\Arcturus: To answer your earlier question
DM\Arcturus: The enemies' ranks are a total of perhaps 1000 feet deep at their deepest, about half that along the army's edges
Vasily: What kind of ranged options do the trolls have?
DM\Arcturus: You can't make out what they're carrying or wielding, but you can roll me a K:nature to see what they usually do/have
Sven: big-ass rocks?
Sven: !try 28
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 19 = 19 > + 28 = 47
Boris:  ! try harder
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Albrecht: Try Hard 2: Try Harder?
DM\Arcturus: Ice trolls, first of all, are Large in size, and they have some limited supernatural abilities related to ice and frost
Nikolai: i drew a crude map
Nikolai: http://hugin.xthemage.net/hugin/?instance=beyond_ragnarok
DM\Arcturus: In combat, that most prominently manifests in their ability to do two things:
DM\Arcturus: a) Limn their weapons (they usually use crude axes or clubs) with ice crystals, increasing their damage and crit properties
DM\Arcturus: b) Rapidly condense atmospheric moisture into icicles, which they can throw as ranged weapons
DM\Arcturus: (trolls should be on the south)
Nikolai: i would like to fill in the dimensions of the various distances and 
Nikolai: ok
Nikolai: distances and areas
Nikolai: on this
DM\Arcturus: To the north of this are glacial cliffs
Vasily: I could probably mess with the trolls a bunch
Nikolai: i was thinking a Fire Storm might be good on them
Nikolai: but I need some dimensions
Nikolai: burn off some of the fog too
DM\Arcturus: The goblin army is currently about 2 miles out, from Hakon's position barely visible in the gathering snowstorm
Nikolai: hm
Nikolai: can Sven control us some weather
Albrecht: trolls will probably aim to strike just after the main forces clash
Albrecht: what's our easiest way to signal that? I can just toss a sending wand at it
Sven: sure
DM\Arcturus: The trolls occupy a region about 700-800 feet in diameter as they creep through the marsh
DM\Arcturus: Sven roll K:nature and Spellcraft
Sven: !try 28;K:N
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot (K:N)  1d20 < 5 = 5 > + 28 = 33
Sven: !try 24;spellcraft
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot (spellcraft)  1d20 < 2 = 2 > + 24 = 26
Sven: :|
Nikolai: wow.
Sven: this plan is going to go great, guys
DM\Arcturus: That's some shit right there
DM\Arcturus: Well Sven
DM\Arcturus: You note that the weather that is going on right now seems a bit out of the ordinary 
Nikolai: of course
Albrecht: yeah let's smash that coven up
DM\Arcturus: Like, it's calm, then suddenly cold snap and snowstorm... weather patterns a bit off, not 100% sure though
DM\Arcturus: Could just be a fluke
Sven: could also be bullshit
DM\Arcturus: With that roll it could be any damn thing
Nikolai: I'm thinking we hit our weather button
Nikolai: and attempt to influence it 
Vasily: Weather it is or not, the Covern should be dealt with
Nikolai: yes
Nikolai: but we can't like
Nikolai: start hitting these targets before the battle is joined
Albrecht: yeah Coven and the giants are top priority, but we can't hit them this early
Vasily: Sure.
Nikolai: so let's lead off with a control weather
Nikolai: and see how it goes
DM\Arcturus: Alrighty
Vasily: Maybe some illusory trickery to get the trolls to reveal themselves?
DM\Arcturus: So start with a CW eh
Nikolai: i think we can use regular trickery to do that?
Nikolai: yes
DM\Arcturus: Control Weather has a 10 minute casting time, so while Sven is doing that, anything else? Or just wait until he's done before proceeding
Sven: I don't know what kind of weather you want
Nikolai: how much progress will the various fronts make
Nikolai: while that happens
Nikolai: I want calm and thaw
Nikolai: COntrol Weather can like
Nikolai: remove phenomenon
Nikolai: so the key thing is to remove this snowstorm.
Sven: sounds good
DM\Arcturus: Mm, couple hundred feet from the main army, probably less from the trolls
Albrecht: yeah we don't need to make them reveal themselves, we need to make sure Hakon knows they're coming
Nikolai: so
Albrecht: we can do that with Sending, also with some nice big obvious spells like a couple of fireballs or something
Nikolai: how far away were they when we started casting
Nikolai: albrecht: i was thinking firestorm
Nikolai: should provide a nice big burst of evaporation
Nikolai: as well as damage
Albrecht: works for me
Nikolai: so they will be seen
Vasily: Throw in some fireballs from me as well.
Vasily: maybe a nightmare terrain behind their lines.
Vasily: the trolls that is
Albrecht: want me to mark off a sending to Hakon?
Nikolai: Nope
Nikolai: none of that
DM\Arcturus: How far away are the trolls, you're asking?
Nikolai: if I need to tell him something I can do so directly.
Nikolai: yes I am also asking how far away the main force is
Nikolai: they = both groups
DM\Arcturus: Main force: about 2 miles and closing
DM\Arcturus: Trolls: about 1 mile on a direct line, but they're not approaching on a direct line
Nikolai: that's fine
Nikolai: we have a bunch of time
DM\Arcturus: k.
Nikolai: let's let Sven's control weather finish up
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
DM\Arcturus: Sven, let's have a caster level check.
Sven: !try 19
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 9 = 9 > + 19 = 28
DM\Arcturus: !try 17
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 20 = 20 > + 17 = 37
Nikolai: :/
Sven: :|
Vasily: :/
Boris: :
Boris: :\
DM\Arcturus: But the fut^H^H^H weather refused to change.
Nikolai: sandy making chrono trigger references lol
Boris: nice
Nikolai: so like
Nikolai: can he try again 10 minutes later?
Nikolai: or something to that effect
DM\Arcturus: Roll Spellcraft
Nikolai: !try 29
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Nikolai :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 29 = 33
Sven: !try 24
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 7 = 7 > + 24 = 31
Nikolai: ugh, dice, come on
Vasily: !try 32
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Vasily :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 5 = 5 > + 32 = 37
DM\Arcturus: That's fine
Nikolai: sure but it's not boding well
DM\Arcturus: This result holds for subsequent castings, but if you do something to reduce the CL of the opposing caster, then you can try again
Nikolai: where's my nerfstick
Boris: read - attack the hags
Nikolai: yeah... shit
Boris: you want that I should backstab them?
Nikolai: I'm just concerned about what happens if we pop in there and start fucking around
Albrecht: right now it's just bad weather
Taras: Can you give Hakon a vision
Nikolai: well the bad weather is going to fuck over our guys
Taras: of the trolls
Nikolai: sure I can
Albrecht: unless it's cold enough to hurt Hakon or buff the enemy
Nikolai: cold? nah
Nikolai: visibility man
Nikolai: that's all it needs to do
Nikolai: if they have like
Nikolai: shit that lets them see through blizzards
Nikolai: we're at a significant disdavantage
Albrecht: true
Nikolai: how far away from the giants are the hags
Nikolai: they're like right next to them
Nikolai: right?
Albrecht: won't do much to the melee combat but we've got some time still
DM\Arcturus: Hakon's men are well-prepared for cold, so they won't be taking damage unless it dips to Supernatural Cold (which it has not and is showing no signs of doing)
Nikolai: right, this is about battlefield control
Nikolai: not damage
DM\Arcturus: Correct
DM\Arcturus: Also
DM\Arcturus: It is of course plenty cold enough to give full spellcasting advantages to casters specialized in cold-environment casting
Nikolai: well we should have taken Kai then
Nikolai: >_>
DM\Arcturus: The hags are indeed close by the giant leader, Chagantai
Nikolai: hm
Nikolai: at this rate, how long do we have until the army gets close enough to engage
Albrecht: yeah we need to smash these guys but i guess we want to let the front lines meet?
Nikolai: at least be close enough to engage.
Albrecht: though if these hags can fuck up Hakon's army we should break them first
Nikolai: we should yes
Albrecht: so we hit them when the army reaches engagement range; before they engage
Nikolai: yes
Albrecht: right when the hags would most likely try to break Hakon's line
Nikolai: when it is no longer possible for the front line to break off
Nikolai: that is
Nikolai: no longer possible for the leaders to signal their guys that it is time to run
Nikolai: and not suffer a reverse engagement
Nikolai: essentially I predict a lot of confusion
Nikolai: when we drop in
Nikolai: anyway
DM\Arcturus: You estimate the enemy will be within engagement range in less than an hour; if Albrecht's correct in marking those cavalry ranks as skirmishers, then they will engage a bit earlier than that, so you likely have about half an hour
Nikolai: ok
Nikolai: I will try my own Control Weather
Nikolai: Miracle > Control Weather
Nikolai: see if I can just roll higher.
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
DM\Arcturus: Roll it up
Nikolai: !try 20
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Nikolai :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 18 = 18 > + 20 = 38
Nikolai: <_<
Albrecht: I'm not worried about when the skirmishers hit; I would say the heavy line-breaking attack would come in when the main line arrives
DM\Arcturus: That sounds like an automatic win to me
Sven: yup
DM\Arcturus: There's nothing the enemy can roll to beat that
DM\Arcturus: So
Nikolai: sounds good
Nikolai: gtfo
* Sven Worst Druid Ever
DM\Arcturus: You want what? Calm and thaw?
Nikolai: I want the snowstorm to dissipate
Nikolai: and things to be calm and clear
DM\Arcturus: And It Does.
DM\Arcturus: (in 10 minutes after casting completion)
Sven: thus saith the Lord or some shit
Nikolai: if I can make it a little bit warmer too I am ok with that but the main thing is I want battlefield clarity
DM\Arcturus: Yep
DM\Arcturus: That happens.
Nikolai: that's a goddamn omen from the heavens guys
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Boris: There's nothing left of the storm but a cloud pattern of Odin giving a thumbs up
DM\Arcturus: By the time you finish casting, the army's covered another half-mile of the battlefield plain
Nikolai: cool
Nikolai: eta?
Nikolai: also trolls
DM\Arcturus: The trolls are now skirting along the edge of the marsh, just within the cover of trees and fog, moving west, orthogonally to the direct line from them to Hakon
DM\Arcturus: You estimate they'll be in position to charge the side/rear of his formation in another 10-15min
Nikolai: hmmm
Nikolai: ok time for an omen i think
DM\Arcturus: The army will be in engagement range in about 30
Albrecht: hmm
Nikolai: when they're about 10 mins out
Nikolai: throw a firestorm across their ranks
Albrecht: trolls probably won't charge immediately, but Hakon needs time to adjust to face them
Nikolai: should be a big enough blaze that they'll get noticed
Nikolai: and a couple of fireballs from Vasily
Vasily: quite
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Vasily: no meteor swarms today though :/
DM\Arcturus: Anyone else doing anything before that takes place?
Nikolai: I might have to fly in for a bit to aim that
Vasily: Mass fly for everyone!
Nikolai: you got a L9 spell?
Vasily: exactly
Nikolai: eh mass fly probably not a good idea yet.
DM\Arcturus: Heh
Albrecht: i have a flying boar
Vasily: I've got a staff
Boris: Nah, let's get em
Nikolai: did you level while I wasn't looking?
DM\Arcturus: What L9 spell did you prep
Vasily: no, I mean exactly, I don't have a L9 spe,,
Vasily: spell
DM\Arcturus: Ah
Albrecht: we've got time; include a Sending to Hakon right before the firestorm so he knows what to look for
DM\Arcturus: Lamenting your hypothetical Meteor Swarm
Albrecht: and what's over there
DM\Arcturus: Which you don't have
Vasily: :/ indeed
DM\Arcturus: k.
DM\Arcturus: Range of Fire Storm is what
Nikolai: medium
DM\Arcturus: Medium eh.
Nikolai: I'm thinking Nikolai can pop in, cast, pop back
DM\Arcturus: Yeah it sounds like you'll have to yes
DM\Arcturus: Fly or DJ out there
DM\Arcturus: Something
Vasily: Phantom steed
Nikolai: i was thinking DJ then DJ back
Nikolai: I have a bunch of them
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
Vasily: hmm
Nikolai: Phantom Steed if Vasily wants to hook a brother up
Vasily: Yeah, I'ma just phantom steed out there.
Vasily: You got it boss.
Nikolai: is a good replacement for 2 DJs
Nikolai: tyvm
Vasily: staff of the traveler!
DM\Arcturus: Well you don't even need to go there, really
DM\Arcturus: Fireball being Long
DM\Arcturus: But you can if you want
Nikolai: yeah I figured
DM\Arcturus: Ok, so let's see... and that's 40 10-ft cubes, shapable, for a total of 400 square feet of coverage... should get like, a line of trolls... meanwhile V fireballs a couple times
Nikolai: yep
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
DM\Arcturus: Your spells go off!
DM\Arcturus: Explosions and conflagrations of fire light up the marshes and sear away the fog
DM\Arcturus: Both sides notice this display
DM\Arcturus: Roll SR checks.
Taras: Totally should have gone with the passive vision
Nikolai: !try 20;SR
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Nikolai :
* DiceBot (SR)  1d20 < 8 = 8 > + 20 = 28
Sven: I also have a Fire Storm
Vasily: !try 21
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Vasily :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 21 = 25
Taras: and then like
Nikolai: Sven can also help
Vasily: !try 21
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Vasily :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 3 = 3 > + 21 = 24
Boris: wow
Sven: if you would like it
Taras: level drained the trolls when nobody was looking
Sven: !try 19
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 12 = 12 > + 19 = 31
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
Sven: hooray, a non-shit SR check
DM\Arcturus: The fire storms take out a couple dozen trolls each
DM\Arcturus: I won't make you roll damage or anything
DM\Arcturus: The fireballs, however, though they explode, you note that the lower reaches of those explosions are wispy and harmless
DM\Arcturus: Roll Spellcraft.
Vasily: !try 32
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Vasily :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 7 = 7 > + 32 = 39
DM\Arcturus: (Vasily, I mean)
DM\Arcturus: k
Nikolai: dat cold weather
DM\Arcturus: And then, unrelatedly, roll Spot, people with good scores
Nikolai: !try 20
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Nikolai :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 8 = 8 > + 20 = 28
Sven: !try 37
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 37 = 41
Vasily: Jotunheim cold?
DM\Arcturus: So, you deduce that those trolls are benefiting from some Glacial Globes of Invulnerability effects
DM\Arcturus: Perhaps not literally that spell, but something very similar, perhaps a larger version of it
Vasily: Some dispels might be in order
Albrecht: meh
DM\Arcturus: Now, reactions:
Vasily: Although... given that
Albrecht: the point isn't to kill them
Vasily: Would I have gotten that on the first fireball?
Albrecht: just to reveal them
Nikolai: yeah we did the job
Vasily: if so, I'd probably not cast the 2nd
Albrecht: I'm going to makr off a sending to go with that
DM\Arcturus: (it took both to notice)
Nikolai: Adam
Vasily: kk
DM\Arcturus: (and realize what was up)
Nikolai: no sendings required
Albrecht: ok
Nikolai: we';re not officially a part of this combat
DM\Arcturus: The Varangians, noticing the conflagration, and now seeing through the burnt-off fog, see the trolls
Nikolai: if we need to communicate something to Hakon I will God-message him
Vasily: But Albrech wands to send.
DM\Arcturus: You can see movement in their ranks; they are bolstering their southern flank, and moving their druids there
Vasily: (you might want to shoot a dispel there)
Vasily: help the druids out
***: Obormot has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
DM\Arcturus: (hmm)
Nikolai: eh the druids can manage their own dispels I think
DM\Arcturus: Some of the druids wild shape into birds and fly out a bit toward the trolls, including one of Hakon and Brunhilda's sons
Nikolai: yeah see
Nikolai: check this out
Nikolai: these guys are pro
Nikolai: at this point
Nikolai: I think it is time for storm of vengeance
Nikolai: to run its course
Nikolai: how far is the main force
DM\Arcturus: In response, the trolls at first scatter, then begin to retreat further into the marsh
DM\Arcturus: The main force is just over a mile out
DM\Arcturus: NOTE
Nikolai: hm
Nikolai: ok maybe not quite yet
DM\Arcturus: Sven ALSO spots
DM\Arcturus: Among the trolls
DM\Arcturus: Hiding in their ranks, under the cover of fog
DM\Arcturus: A lone, humanoid-sized and -shaped figure
DM\Arcturus: Cloaked
DM\Arcturus: The figure now turns to mist and seems to disperse into the wind
Sven: wat
DM\Arcturus: Spellcraft plz
Vasily: Whampire
Vasily: !try 32
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Vasily :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 14 = 14 > + 32 = 46
Nikolai: is he a gd vampire
DM\Arcturus: not you
Sven: !try 24
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 11 = 11 > + 24 = 35
DM\Arcturus: There we go
DM\Arcturus: You identify that as probably a Wind Walk spell.
Nikolai: oh well
Nikolai: fuck that guy
Sven: well
DM\Arcturus: Worse than a vampire: A CLERIC
Sven: never finding that guy again
DM\Arcturus: :x
Sven: I would've settled for other druid
Sven: because that sounds less problematic
DM\Arcturus: Everything's Worse With Clerics.
Sven: :|
DM\Arcturus: Instant :(, just add clerics
DM\Arcturus: Now then
DM\Arcturus: Any other plans?
Nikolai: when they get to like
Nikolai: half a milke
Nikolai: mile
Nikolai: we drop Storms on them
Sven: boomshakalaka
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Nikolai: half a mile is reasonable right?
DM\Arcturus: Seems reasonable
DM\Arcturus: How do you want to position the storm relative to the army
Nikolai: close enough that Hakon shoudl be readying to attack
Nikolai: so I want them in the middle-ish
Nikolai: kind of like the circles I drew on hugin
Nikolai: but more circular
DM\Arcturus: Oh you and Sven both Storm it up
Nikolai: yes
DM\Arcturus: k.
DM\Arcturus: Alright
Nikolai: go go divine caster wonder twin powers activate
DM\Arcturus: Well Nikolai
DM\Arcturus: That is an absolutely solid idea
DM\Arcturus: As the army approaches within half a mile of the hilltop, and the goblin cavalry look to be preparing for a sortie, you begin casting
Nikolai: nailed it
DM\Arcturus: Enormous black storm clouds appear over the goblin army
Sven: sortie deez nuts
DM\Arcturus: Hakon's men cheer
DM\Arcturus: Only to have their cheers quickly die down
DM\Arcturus: Because as great an idea as Storm of Vengeance is
DM\Arcturus: It becomes apparent that you're not the only ones who had it
Nikolai: balls
Sven: fuckin figures
DM\Arcturus: A similar black cloud gathers over Hakon's warriors
Albrecht: yeah that coven is going to need to eat swords
Nikolai: well
Nikolai: ok
Nikolai: Nikolai and Sven need to concentrate
Nikolai: Can Vasily get the Cleanup Crew over there via DD
Nikolai: and fuck up those hags
Vasily: Sounds like a plan.
Nikolai: excellent
Nikolai: game on motherfuckers
Vasily: INTO THE HOLE!
DM\Arcturus: Screams, both goblin and human, fill the air as droplets of acid rain fall on both armies
DM\Arcturus: V, you cast DD?
Boris: Nikolai's Greater Umbrella
Vasily: quite
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Taras: Yeah can't you cast like
Albrecht: this is a time I would want more reach, but whatever, I've got the boar already
Taras: wind wall or something
DM\Arcturus: Let's draw some stuff and then roll init.
Taras: to blow the acid away
DM\Arcturus: Please scroll east, past the army, where I will draw a close-up
DM\Arcturus: Hm
Sven: can I have animal growthed and nature's avatared my t-rex before getting vengeant upon motherfuckers?
DM\Arcturus: Need some mastodon minis
DM\Arcturus: You can have, but is the DD big enough for him?
Nikolai: Wind Wall is way smaller than the storm
Nikolai: I think the best bet is to stop them from casting it
DM\Arcturus: Dimension door creates a shimmering doorway within Close range, large enough to allow a single creature through. The maximum size of a creature that may pass through the doorway is one size larger than you are for every five caster levels you possess.
DM\Arcturus: So like
Vasily: I can also MDJ instead
Sven: Ian has explained that whoever is DDing is beefy enough to allow gargantuan
Boris: hugin link page?
Nikolai: The maximum size of a creature that may pass through the doorway is one size larger than you are for every five caster levels you possess
DM\Arcturus: It's big enough for something yes
Sven: but maybe he was wrong?
DM\Arcturus: Gargantuan
Nikolai: so if Vasily is CL 19, then it can be Large, Huge, Garg
Sven: good
DM\Arcturus: Ok someone get me minis for:
Sven: then everything is fine
Vasily: ah, nm then
DM\Arcturus: 1. Mastodons
DM\Arcturus: 2. Giants
DM\Arcturus: 3. Goats
DM\Arcturus: 4. Hags
Vasily: on it.
DM\Arcturus: 5. Goblins
Vasily: Goblins exist
DM\Arcturus: Meanwhile, placeholders going in
Nikolai: ok I have a mastodon
DM\Arcturus: ... lol
Sven: is that a goddamn black ranger zord?
DM\Arcturus: Tell me the t-rex mini will be correspondingly sourced
DM\Arcturus: Fuck yes it is
Sven: for serious
Nikolai: as long as they don't have any sabertooth tigers or pterodactyls I think we're ok
Boris: lol
Nikolai: god help us if they have any white tigers or green dragons
Vasily: How many Giants?
Vasily: and/or Gobbos?
DM\Arcturus: No no sabertooth tiger is one of the wild shaped forms of Brunhilda's middle kid
DM\Arcturus: I swear I didn't plan for this.
Sven: lol
Boris: lol
DM\Arcturus: Someone just keep adding those goblins
DM\Arcturus: Scatter them liberally
DM\Arcturus: About the place
DM\Arcturus: All sides
DM\Arcturus: I am removing those giants
DM\Arcturus: They are unnecessary
Vasily: ok
DM\Arcturus: The other actual giants are offscreen
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
Nikolai: so goal #1: identify the hag/hags casting this dumb storm
Nikolai: and fuck their shit up
Nikolai: asap
DM\Arcturus: Alright
DM\Arcturus: So to clarify
Nikolai: goal #2: kill all the things
Albrecht: hmm
Albrecht: i should have been hunting up a boar
DM\Arcturus: What we're doing is casting DD and then everyone's stepping through
Nikolai: if it is not one of these hags casting it then fuck us
DM\Arcturus: That'll be your surprise round
Nikolai: yeah
Nikolai: sounds good to me
Boris: it could be the chagiatic guy
DM\Arcturus: So position a DD where you want, position yourselves just past it, and then we'll roll init, roll to spot/identify shit, etc.
Boris: and link to hugin or whatever otherwise I can't see a mini
DM\Arcturus: http://hugin.xthemage.net/hugin/?instance=beyond_ragnarok
Vasily: How 'bout there?
Vasily: Right on top of the hags
Nikolai: i like it
Vasily: ...
Vasily: did someone upload a 2e invisible stalker mini?
Nikolai: oh fyi and I need to update the SOP page I think
Nikolai: Stoneskin for everyone
Vasily: yaaay
Vasily: rock hard abs
Albrecht: I put up a Gulinbursti
Nikolai: we have a staff these days
Albrecht: also once we level mine is free
Vasily: So I've got an enlarge on Taras
Vasily: and... I can displacement someone else.
Albrecht: yeah I'd like to be large but I'm symbolisming up a pig and thus can't
Albrecht: i'll take displacement, sure
Sven: oh - so I should stop prepping that shit?
Nikolai: mmmm yeah you can
Nikolai: or you can like
Nikolai: prep one
Nikolai: and use your slots for something else
Nikolai: just to take the Charge/time load down
DM\Arcturus: Ok
DM\Arcturus: Everyone positioned?
Nikolai: Nikolai and Sven are on the other side of the DD
DM\Arcturus: Right
DM\Arcturus: Everyone positioned that needs to be?
Nikolai: however we should still roll init 
Vasily: And haste
DM\Arcturus: I concur
DM\Arcturus: Ok
DM\Arcturus: Let's do it
DM\Arcturus: Roll init
Vasily: !try 3
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Vasily :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 12 = 12 > + 3 = 15
Nikolai: !try 6
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Nikolai :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 12 = 12 > + 6 = 18
Boris: !try 12
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 12 = 16
Albrecht: !try 8
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 18 = 18 > + 8 = 26
Sven: !try 13
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 15 = 15 > + 13 = 28
Taras: !try 4
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Taras :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 12 = 12 > + 4 = 16
Vasily: What's the duration on stoneskin?
DM\Arcturus: !try 7;Chagantai
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (Chagantai)  1d20 < 10 = 10 > + 7 = 17
DM\Arcturus: !try 1;hags
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (hags)  1d20 < 11 = 11 > + 1 = 12
Albrecht: plenty
Albrecht: at least 10/level
Nikolai: it's 10/lvl yes
Vasily: ok
Vasily: thanks
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Nikolai: how many of those did I use?
Nikolai: 6-Nikolai-Sven?
Sven: sounds good
DM\Arcturus: So, firstly, let me describe a bit what you see
Nikolai: k
DM\Arcturus: As you are within a Storm of Vengeance, it is pretty dark here now, and lightning and crashing thunder is almost deafening
DM\Arcturus: It is impossible to hear each other clearly
DM\Arcturus: All around you, the goblins have been thrown into chaos
Nikolai: oh we can totally lightning bolt them this round
DM\Arcturus: The giants are attempting to shout orders to them to get them under control, with mixed results
Nikolai: whose storm is this?
Nikolai: mine or sven's?
DM\Arcturus: !roll 1d2
* DiceBot rolls dice for DM\Arcturus : 1d2 < 2 = 2 > = 2
DM\Arcturus: Sven's
Nikolai: k
DM\Arcturus: No casualties from the storm yet, though of course the acid raid has seriously hurt some of the goblins
Nikolai: ok so this is in fact round 3
Nikolai: as I expected
DM\Arcturus: (yes)
DM\Arcturus: On each of your turns I'll be asking you guys for Fort saves vs. deafening
Vasily: DC?
Nikolai: sven';s
DM\Arcturus: It is Sven's turn first; assuming you keep concentrating, let's get your dino's actions
DM\Arcturus: Remember you can give it some fairly straightforward orders
DM\Arcturus: Nothing terribly specific/complicated
Albrecht: Eat hag.
Nikolai: also he gets to smack people with lightning
DM\Arcturus: That's true, he does.
Sven: so
Sven: the dino will full attack the hag in front of it
Sven: like you do
DM\Arcturus: Six bolts, no two bolts in the same place
Nikolai: adam is your pig a fucking mobile suit
Sven: ok let's resolve bolts first then
Vasily: Gundambursti?
Albrecht: I looked for Gulinbursti and I found a gundam.
Albrecht: Apparently they made such
Sven: each hag, that dude with the fucked-up name
Nikolai: yep
DM\Arcturus: As you can see this immediate area through the DD, you can aim the bolts here precisely; for bolts aimed at other parts of the battlefield I'll ask for Spot checks for precision
Nikolai: Zeta Gundam
DM\Arcturus: So yeah, bolts
DM\Arcturus: Where do you want 'em
Sven: and wherever I can find two clumps of goblins
Albrecht: I figured that with zords going on, I might as well
Sven: if they are wide enough to strike clumps
DM\Arcturus: Everywhere
Sven: so those are my six spots
DM\Arcturus: A bolt is single-target, actually
Sven: ok
DM\Arcturus: From what it looks like
Sven: so the 4 relevant people
Sven: a
Sven: and two goblins
DM\Arcturus: ok then
Nikolai: wait
Nikolai: what about their mounts
Sven: waiting
Albrecht: yeah mounts
Sven: sure
Albrecht: mastodon and a goat
Sven: fuck the goblins
DM\Arcturus: k.
Sven: mastodon and a goat
Nikolai: so like 3x hag, 1x guy, 1x mastodon, 1x goat
DM\Arcturus: First, what is the save DC
Sven: 26
DM\Arcturus: Second, let me get SR checks for each hag
Sven: !try 19 19 19
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 8 = 8 > + 19 = 27
* DiceBot 1d20 < 18 = 18 > + 19 = 37
* DiceBot 1d20 < 17 = 17 > + 19 = 36
Sven: top to bottom, as you like
DM\Arcturus: Those are actually all successes
Sven: wow
DM\Arcturus: So let's see some saves, shall we?
Sven: sucks to be them
DM\Arcturus: !try 15;Chagantai
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (Chagantai)  1d20 < 15 = 15 > + 15 = 30
DM\Arcturus: !try 11;hag1 11;hag2 11;hag3
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (hag1)  1d20 < 9 = 9 > + 11 = 20
* DiceBot (hag2)  1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 11 = 15
* DiceBot (hag3)  1d20 < 1 = 1 > + 11 = 12
Sven: !roll 10d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Sven : 10d6 < 3 5 6 2 5 2 3 5 6 4 = 41 > = 41
DM\Arcturus: !try 7;goat1 11;goat2
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (goat1)  1d20 < 3 = 3 > + 7 = 10
* DiceBot (goat2)  1d20 < 11 = 11 > + 11 = 22
Sven: guess that's one success
DM\Arcturus: oh it was only 1 goat wasn't it
DM\Arcturus: And a mastodon
DM\Arcturus: !try 10;mastodon
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (mastodon)  1d20 < 8 = 8 > + 10 = 18
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Nikolai: so
Nikolai: question
Nikolai: Sven can see through the DD
DM\Arcturus: yes
Nikolai: does he see any hags being all like
Nikolai: concentraty
Nikolai: on spells
DM\Arcturus: Oh yes, almost forgot
DM\Arcturus: All three are.
Sven: oh good
Nikolai: ok then
DM\Arcturus: They will of course have to roll Conc checks on their turns.
DM\Arcturus: So, results:
DM\Arcturus: The lightning courses through Chagantai and he laughs it off, unaffected; you now also notice that roaring winds whip about him, of at least windstorm strength, and he is entirely undaunted
DM\Arcturus: Neither his mastodon nor the hags are so lucky
DM\Arcturus: The mastodon trumpets in pain, though it doesn't actually seem that damaged; they are pretty beefy, these creatures
DM\Arcturus: The hags, on the other hand, are severely hurt
Sven: oh man
Sven: they are so lunch
Albrecht: yep
Sven: maybe I just have the t-rex kill two
DM\Arcturus: As for that one goat, it's also strongly scorched, but, strangely, it does not react, neither twitching nor bleating in pain
Albrecht: I think take the top 2
DM\Arcturus: It seems to entirely ignore the injury and (presumably) the pain
Albrecht: I think I can trample the bottom one
Sven: badass goat
DM\Arcturus: So, Mr. Rex?
Sven: alright, let's see what happens with an attack on the hag
Nikolai: undead goats imo
Sven: too bad I can't have power attack
Albrecht: no, they're mounted on the goat, I can't trample that, meh
Sven: !try 36
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 36 = 40
DM\Arcturus: which hag's this
Sven: what is with this goddamn rolling
DM\Arcturus: Middle hag?
Sven: yes
DM\Arcturus: Well I don't know what you expected with that number
DM\Arcturus: But that is of course a hit
DM\Arcturus: Roll damage
Sven: !roll 4d6+31
* DiceBot rolls dice for Sven : 4d6 < 1 6 5 6 = 18 > + 31 = 49
Sven: is the hag dead?
DM\Arcturus: The dinosaur bites the top half of the hag's body clean off
Sven: good
Sven: top hag
Sven: !try 36
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 2 = 2 > + 36 = 38
Boris: white meat is lower in fat
Sven: how much lower can I roll :-P
DM\Arcturus: You on the Skidbladnir see that the storm of vengeance over Hakon's forces immediately begins to dissipate.
DM\Arcturus: (that is also a hit)
Sven: (obvs)
Sven: !roll 4d6+31
* DiceBot rolls dice for Sven : 4d6 < 6 3 6 1 = 16 > + 31 = 47
Sven: and if she isn't dead
Sven: roll a grapple check (lols)
DM\Arcturus: Hag # the other one is also bit in half
Sven: fine
Sven: next
DM\Arcturus: But feel free to grapple her remains
DM\Arcturus: I won't object
Sven: !try 41
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 3 = 3 > + 41 = 44
Sven: look at how grappled they are
DM\Arcturus: Pretty fucking grappled
DM\Arcturus: Albrecht's up next
Albrecht: hell that almost is unmakeable for me, aside from having FoM
Albrecht: hmm
DM\Arcturus: Your first roll is a Fort save vs. deafen
DM\Arcturus: Actually the dinosaur's too
Albrecht: ok that' sfunny
Sven: http://what-if.xkcd.com/78/
Albrecht: it's from a spell.
Albrecht: !try 32
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 8 = 8 > + 32 = 40
DM\Arcturus: success
Sven: (maybe relevant to the fight)
DM\Arcturus: Now a Spot check, Albrecht
Albrecht: hahaha, spot
Albrecht: !try 1
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 11 = 11 > + 1 = 12
DM\Arcturus: This'll be easy, I promise
DM\Arcturus: Ok not that easy.
Nikolai: rofl
Albrecht: Yeah what were you thinking.
Sven: !try 18
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 1 = 1 > + 18 = 19
Sven: :|
Nikolai: can we remove the dead hags
Nikolai: top and middle?
DM\Arcturus: No you're too busy concentrating
DM\Arcturus: you spot nothing
Albrecht: Gulinbursti attacks the bottom hag
DM\Arcturus: Go for it
Albrecht: !try 22
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 20 = 20 > + 22 = 42
Albrecht: !try 22;conf
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot (conf)  1d20 < 6 = 6 > + 22 = 28
Boris: uh oh
Sven: I think we can agree that bitch is toast
Albrecht: I think he just decapitated her.
Boris: run through
DM\Arcturus: VORPAL TUSKS
Albrecht: truth?
DM\Arcturus: is a thing this boar absolutely has
Nikolai: rofl
Sven: wow
Albrecht: yeah I just need to know if 28 confirms.
Boris: lol
DM\Arcturus: Her head is severed in one clean stroke
Albrecht: hahah
Sven: that's a yes, I guess
Vasily: pop
Albrecht: then fuck the goats, move action to come on over to Chagatai
Nikolai: i prefer the whole
Nikolai: being gored through the stomach so hard that her head flies off
DM\Arcturus: I do not suggest fucking the goats
Albrecht: 90 ft of fly is plenty to go around
DM\Arcturus: I would explain why but your Spot check is terrible
Sven: probably a bad plan
Albrecht: does he happen to have combat reflexes?
DM\Arcturus: He sure does.
Albrecht: well i guess he gets to try and attack
DM\Arcturus: He also has a reach weapon
Albrecht: too bad I don't have mounted combat
Sven: wombat wefwexes
DM\Arcturus: !try 28;Chagantai_spear
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (Chagantai_spear)  1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 28 = 32
Albrecht: well I can't get into range without provoking anyway
Albrecht: attacking me or Gulinbursti?
DM\Arcturus: You
Albrecht: lol
DM\Arcturus: yes.
DM\Arcturus: He yells out something
DM\Arcturus: But you can't hear what it is
DM\Arcturus: On account of all this storm
Albrecht: aw, a storm
Albrecht: now, what am I dealing with, a standard or a full?
DM\Arcturus: You're dealing with a standard, but hold on oooone sec
Albrecht: sure
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Albrecht: so there are 3 albrechts over there, not on the pig. And he missed them cleanly
Albrecht: I just wanted to set up Taras / Boris for flank
DM\Arcturus: So the squares in Chagantai's reach are windstorm-force winds
DM\Arcturus: Roll Fort vs. being knocked down.
Albrecht: non-spell?
DM\Arcturus: (knocked off the boar, is what it would be in this case)
DM\Arcturus: Not a spell, no
Nikolai: hm, albrecht, couldn't you still attack?
Albrecht: !try 25
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 16 = 16 > + 25 = 41
Nikolai: since your pig moved and attacked
Albrecht: oh yeah, I am
Nikolai: ok i misinterprteted
Albrecht: we just have tons of crap to get through first
Nikolai: sure
DM\Arcturus: Right
DM\Arcturus: That is a success
Albrecht: also deciding how much power attack
DM\Arcturus: And now, your attack please
Albrecht: he is, I assume, an infidel?
DM\Arcturus: For reference, dude is wearing chain mail
DM\Arcturus: And he is absolutely an infidel
DM\Arcturus: SUCH an infidel
Albrecht: !try 20
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 19 = 19 > + 20 = 39
DM\Arcturus: Like wow you don't even know
Albrecht: !try 24;conf
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot (conf)  1d20 < 15 = 15 > + 24 = 39
Nikolai: i would *like* to know >_>
Albrecht: spellcaster/similar?
DM\Arcturus: Yes
DM\Arcturus: He is wearing fortification armor
DM\Arcturus: Roll d100 please (high is good)
Albrecht: !roll 1d100
* DiceBot rolls dice for Albrecht : 1d100 < 16 = 16 > = 16
Albrecht: crap
DM\Arcturus: negative.
Albrecht: what a jerk
Nikolai: yeah
DM\Arcturus: What a jerk indeed
Nikolai: jerk
Albrecht: !roll 1d10+2d6+20+30+1d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Albrecht : 1d10 < 7 = 7 > + 2d6 < 1 2 = 3 > + 20 + 30 + 1d6 < 4 = 4 > = 64
Albrecht: and 1 Con
Nikolai: how dare he be wearing the thing that makes your stuff not work
Nikolai: kill him i say
Albrecht: 64 and a point of Con is pretty solid
DM\Arcturus: Yep
DM\Arcturus: A solid hit
DM\Arcturus: Blue-black blood spurts from his wound
Albrecht: could have been about 55 more
Nikolai: you did good sir
DM\Arcturus: Is that all for you?
Albrecht: yep, I'm happy
DM\Arcturus: That makes it his turn
Albrecht: !try 24;intimidate
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot (intimidate)  1d20 < 19 = 19 > + 24 = 43
Albrecht: that is just to look flashy and cool
Nikolai: haha
Sven: way to go
Albrecht: not to actually initimidate him, which would require an action
Albrecht: also
Albrecht: now I actually intimidate him
Albrecht: !try 24
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 5 = 5 > + 24 = 29
Albrecht: aw, shitty roll
Sven: :/
DM\Arcturus: He is not intimidated
Albrecht: but that is an attempt to hestitate him
DM\Arcturus: But the surrounding goblins are
Sven: but probably impressed
DM\Arcturus: (those who aren't running and screaming from the storm)
Albrecht: yeah surrounding goblins are intimidated by anything we do
DM\Arcturus: He does seem impressed yes.
Albrecht: including lunch
DM\Arcturus: Chagantai is now going to do a thing
DM\Arcturus: He is going to blow at you.
Sven: whoosh
Taras: :l
Boris: that blows
Nikolai: yeah this guy is like some sort of storm elemental type dude
DM\Arcturus: His breath forms a powerful wind
Vasily: sucks for you?
Nikolai: is he a storm giant gone bad??
DM\Arcturus: Roll a Fort save
DM\Arcturus: He is definitely not a storm giant
Albrecht: is it SLA?
Boris: fort?!
Boris: hax
DM\Arcturus: Wrong size, wrong look, wrong everything
DM\Arcturus: (Su)
Albrecht: !try 25
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 15 = 15 > + 25 = 40
Boris: !try 16
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 16 = 20
DM\Arcturus: Success
Boris: oof
DM\Arcturus: Just Albrecht
Albrecht: man, everything I want to overabuse is Su instead of Sp
Nikolai: little did you know Albrecht was our tank
Albrecht: yeah really
Nikolai: *block*
Albrecht: I went and got a dude to cast a spell on me to make me all tanky
Albrecht: (i find that the "be a tank" spell in FF12 has a shitty duration and misses often; really annoying to stand there re-casting it)
Nikolai: (yeah)
Taras: Protect?
Albrecht: Decoy
Nikolai: no the taunty thing
Nikolai: yeah that
Albrecht: Protect has a better duration and is good to have anyway
DM\Arcturus: Scowling, the giant spurs his mount
Albrecht: (for a while I had Decoy, Protect, Bravery, Faith, Haste all goingup on Vaan)
Albrecht: aw, he's moving
DM\Arcturus: Ordering it to do what you quickly realize is attack your boar!
Albrecht: it's like he knows that staying put would provoke
Nikolai: or that.
Sven: I hear boar is delicious
DM\Arcturus: !try 26 21 16
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 20 = 20 > + 26 = 46
* DiceBot 1d20 < 15 = 15 > + 21 = 36
* DiceBot 1d20 < 1 = 1 > + 16 = 17
DM\Arcturus: AC of boar is what
Albrecht: that's a threat and a hit and a miss
Albrecht: 27
DM\Arcturus: !try 26;confirm
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (confirm)  1d20 < 18 = 18 > + 26 = 44
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Nikolai: yikes
Albrecht: that boar is gonna hurt
Sven: ruh roh
Albrecht: but i'm pretty sure "dying" is just reverting to statue form
Taras: Well at least we know Albrecht won't be bored for much longer!
DM\Gaia: !roll 4d6+28+2d6+7
* DiceBot rolls dice for DM\Gaia : 4d6 < 5 3 6 5 = 19 > + 28 + 2d6 < 4 5 = 9 > + 7 = 63
Albrecht: that's both hits?
Taras: boared*
DM\Gaia: yes
Albrecht: and DR, and that's not quite half
Vasily: Man... I was expecting more.
Vasily: Big gapig wounds.
DM\Arcturus: :|
Sven: :|
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Albrecht: is he done then?
DM\Arcturus: He is
Albrecht: DEFENSIVE SWEEP
DM\Arcturus: hax
Albrecht: he provokes an AoO
Albrecht: !try 20
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 14 = 14 > + 20 = 34
Nikolai: lol tank hax
Albrecht: !try 24;conf
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot (conf)  1d20 < 10 = 10 > + 24 = 34
Albrecht: !roll 1d100
* DiceBot rolls dice for Albrecht : 1d100 < 37 = 37 > = 37
Albrecht: light fortification?
DM\Arcturus: Moderate, I'm afraid
Nikolai: crazy tank bullshit abilities!
DM\Arcturus: No dice
Nikolai: boo
Albrecht: stupid dice
Sven: fucking dice
Albrecht: !roll 1d10+2d6+20+30+1d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Albrecht : 1d10 < 4 = 4 > + 2d6 < 1 4 = 5 > + 20 + 30 + 1d6 < 2 = 2 > = 61
DM\Arcturus: But yes that was a hit
Albrecht: and another point of Con
Sven: next you should overpower him
Nikolai: revenge imo
Albrecht: I dunno, ~120 damage and 2 Con is a pretty good go for not taking a full attack
Vasily: Pscht.  If your modifiers aren't good enough, you need to work harder.
DM\Arcturus: Next up is Boris
Nikolai: shield slam.
DM\Arcturus: nope
DM\Arcturus: I lied
DM\Arcturus: Next up is Nikolai
Boris: heh
Vasily: That's the basis of rand-omian philosophy
DM\Arcturus: Who technically was before Chagantai
DM\Arcturus: So go now
Nikolai: i have nothing to say here
Nikolai: continue concentrating
DM\Arcturus: Ok
DM\Arcturus: Boris
DM\Arcturus: then Taras after.
Boris: ah
Boris: So I take it killing the big guy would be a great idea
Boris: the question is, will it blend
Albrecht: this is, it seems, the general
Albrecht: well hes' got a 50% chance to ignore sneak
Vasily: Don't say that...
Nikolai: it's certainly a thing we want to do.
Albrecht: but he is flanked
Vasily: because given the rolling today...
Vasily: I'm guessing it'll be "no dice"
Nikolai: -_-
Taras: Quickly someone move me within 5ft full attack range of him
Taras: With your fancymagic
Nikolai: I mean Taras technically you could have spawned a little further out
Nikolai: because you took a move action through the DD
Vasily: oh, we did, didn't we
Nikolai: if you were like
Nikolai: flying
Boris: I probably shoudl have spawned further out too....this is quite a distance
Nikolai: above the things in the way
DM\Arcturus: Well Boris?
Boris: We're not in surprise right?  move and attack
DM\Arcturus: yep, full rounds
DM\Arcturus: You're flying or what
Boris: flying and invisible
DM\Arcturus: k.
DM\Arcturus: So first:
DM\Arcturus: Fort save vs. deafening
Boris: !try 16
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 10 = 10 > + 16 = 26
Nikolai: wow
Nikolai: just made it
Nikolai: on the nose
Boris: bring the noise
DM\Arcturus: Next: Fort save vs. being knocked down by Chagantai's winds
Boris: fort to not get affected by winds :/
Nikolai: that is totally how winds work
Boris: but my reflexes are so much better
DM\Arcturus: TOO BAD
Boris: !try 16
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 19 = 19 > + 16 = 35
DM\Arcturus: Well that is a success
DM\Arcturus: And now, go for it
Boris: now that the dice are done being nice to me
DM\Arcturus: Why not roll a d100
DM\Arcturus: To see if your sneak attacks are sneak attacks
Boris: adding +2 for invis in attack rolls and +2 for flanking
Boris: !roll 1d100;lowIsBad
* DiceBot rolls dice for Boris : (lowIsBad) 1d100 < 64 = 64 > = 64
Taras: (Was the plan for Albrecht and I to go straight after the mastadon the entire time?
Taras: erm, straight after Chag)
Albrecht: nah
Taras: I feel like that was contingent on the hags dying
Nikolai: (The plan was to kill all the things.)
Nikolai: yes
Nikolai: it was
Nikolai: they did
Boris: !try 32;stab
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot (stab)  1d20 < 15 = 15 > + 32 = 47
Nikolai: so you did
Taras: Yeah so I can't practically have said I moved further out
DM\Arcturus: That is not sneak attacks
Albrecht: yeah, and when I decapitated the last hag I figured I could line up flanking and such
Nikolai: fair enuff
DM\Arcturus: (Moderate fortification is 75% chance)
Boris: still flank attacks I presume
DM\Arcturus: That is of course an AC hit
DM\Arcturus: Yep plain old attacks
DM\Arcturus: That do not hit any vital organs or anything
DM\Arcturus: Just a flesh wound etc.
Boris: !roll 1d6+10
* DiceBot rolls dice for Boris : 1d6 < 4 = 4 > + 10 = 14
DM\Arcturus: Well that is a sad number.
Boris: (greek sword btw)
DM\Arcturus: k
DM\Arcturus: Taras!
Boris: any damage at all
DM\Arcturus: Sure
DM\Arcturus: All that damage you rolled
DM\Arcturus: No apparent DR
Nikolai: oh that sounds like a slashing flurry waiting to happen then
Taras: :3
Taras: I was juuust reading that
Taras: I'm hasted, aren't I?
Nikolai: yes
Taras: Wasn't Boris?
Nikolai: boris is permahasted
Boris: ...how does fortification work?  It applies to each individual stab right?
Nikolai: yes
DM\Arcturus: yep
Boris: ok
Albrecht: Boris and I both cheat; he has time bullshit and I have a speed weapon
Vasily: There is indeed a haste up
* Vasily secret hidden low-key high five
Nikolai: lol
Vasily: Should I try to take out the mastodon?
DM\Arcturus: Taraaaaas?
Taras: Oh I missed that
Boris: I guess I shoudl stab the mastadon
Taras: "Taras" earlier
Vasily: I have a feeling this might be over before I go
Taras: in all the discussion
DM\Arcturus: I said it like 3 times :p
DM\Arcturus: gogogo
Sven: everyone is chumps
Taras: is that sufficiently flanking
Taras: with albrecht
Nikolai: looks good to me
Sven: I was considering bullrushing through the goat to the guy
Sven: but it probably will not be necessary
Taras: Yay flybootz.
Taras: ok so
Taras: fort for deafening
Taras: do I need to fort vs winds at that range
Taras: !try 25;deafening
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Taras :
* DiceBot (deafening)  1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 25 = 29
Taras: I automake deafening
Taras: I just realized.
Nikolai: tru
Taras: But it's REALLY LOUD YOU ASSHOLE
Nikolai: wasn't me blame sven ;(
DM\Arcturus: Winds: no, your reach suffices to have that not affect you
Taras: yay
Taras: we have little AC info on this guy unfortunately
Albrecht: I power attacked for 15.
Taras: 34 is a hit
Taras: and you rolled well :P
Taras: He is SLA'd right
Albrecht: granted that's a +20 and I rolled nothing below 10 even on the confiramtion with +4
Taras: i.e. magebane
Albrecht: he is
DM\Arcturus: Or he could just be a spellcaster
DM\Arcturus: Who knows
Nikolai: but yes your bane applies
DM\Arcturus: Many things can be emulated by levels of wizardclericdruid.
Taras: !try 20;pa8 20;pa8
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Taras :
* DiceBot (pa8)  1d20 < 20 = 20 > + 20 = 40
* DiceBot (pa8)  1d20 < 19 = 19 > + 20 = 39
DM\Arcturus: Like you meet a dragon
DM\Arcturus: Is it a dragon?
Taras: :D
Nikolai: -_-
Taras: :D:D:D
Nikolai: wow
DM\Arcturus: Or a dude shapechanged into a dragon
DM\Arcturus: WHO KNOWS
Nikolai: you should have PAed so hard
DM\Arcturus: Anyway, roll some d100s
Taras: !try 20;conf1 20;conf2
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Taras :
* DiceBot (conf1)  1d20 < 16 = 16 > + 20 = 36
* DiceBot (conf2)  1d20 < 7 = 7 > + 20 = 27
DM\Arcturus: ok, one d100
Taras: !roll 1d100
* DiceBot rolls dice for Taras : 1d100 < 51 = 51 > = 51
DM\Arcturus: ur bad
Sven: good armor investment
DM\Arcturus: Yep
Nikolai: stupid fortification armor
Sven: this guy should've been dead like 40 times now
Nikolai: nerfing our dudes
Vasily: it's true
Sven: that shit was worth every goddamn penny
DM\Arcturus: Vasily you might get to do a thing after all
Vasily: I assume that applies to magical effects with sneaks?
DM\Arcturus: How about that
Vasily: ok...
DM\Arcturus: yes
Vasily: so... question.
DM\Arcturus: Anyway Taras still has to roll damage
Vasily: I see three options.
DM\Arcturus: But ask away
Vasily: err, 4
Vasily: What do y'all think.
Taras: So I get sneak right
DM\Arcturus: No
Nikolai: you do not
Nikolai: :p
DM\Arcturus: You get nothing
DM\Arcturus: Fortification armor > you
Taras: Well you're a dick.
DM\Arcturus: No sneak no crit
Vasily: Kill him with ref, will, fort, or give up and SA the mastodon down
Nikolai: it's true he is
DM\Arcturus: Look how it says "DM" next to my chat lines
Taras: !roll 1d10+39+2d6+1d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Taras : 1d10 < 10 = 10 > + 39 + 2d6 < 6 4 = 10 > + 1d6 < 5 = 5 > = 64
Taras: !roll 1d10+39+2d6+1d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Taras : 1d10 < 5 = 5 > + 39 + 2d6 < 4 4 = 8 > + 1d6 < 1 = 1 > = 53
DM\Arcturus: I don't know what you thought that implied
Sven: nailed it
Vasily: he does get another roll
Nikolai: DM stands for Dick Master
Vasily: for sneak on the non-crit
Nikolai: obvs
Taras: 5 and 1 is fire
DM\Arcturus: obvs.
Sven: master of every dicks
DM\Arcturus: I lied, Vasily
Taras: +8
DM\Arcturus: You get nothing
Taras: for the smiet
Taras: erm, divine might
DM\Arcturus: That actually is enough to take Chagantai down
Vasily: He's dead, eh?
Vasily: laaaaaaaaaaame
DM\Arcturus: Now I wouldn't go so far as to say he's "dead"
Nikolai: ;(
Sven: alright
Vasily: laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame
Sven: my t-rex eats the rest of the army
DM\Arcturus: What actually happens is that he dissipates into a chill wind
* Taras is a hero!
Vasily: Throw more baddies at us next time around
DM\Arcturus: Which blows east
Boris: lol, vampire Giant
Albrecht: well
Vasily: roll up something bigger, as it were
Sven: what is with everyone blowing away
Albrecht: we might want to hunt him down
Taras: Quickly make a box.
Albrecht: before he raises a new army
Nikolai: oh
DM\Arcturus: He is, however, quite out of this fight.
Nikolai: yes
Nikolai: so wait a sec
Nikolai: he is like
Sven: like this were some sort of goddamn Carrie Underwood song
Nikolai: immediately at 60mph?
DM\Arcturus: yes
DM\Arcturus: immediately that.
Nikolai: damn.
Sven: wow
DM\Arcturus: Meanwhile
Taras: Like a pac man ghost
DM\Arcturus: Taras
Taras: You chomp and it's NEERRROW
DM\Arcturus: roll a Spot check
Nikolai: i was hoping Vasily would at least have a chance to box him
Sven: don't suck
Vasily: Anything else even remotely resembling a threat here?
DM\Arcturus: Nothing even remotely
Taras: !try 2
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Taras :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 15 = 15 > + 2 = 17
DM\Arcturus: Just assorted livestock
Boris: !try 22
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 16 = 16 > + 22 = 38
DM\Arcturus: Thank god
DM\Arcturus: Boris to the rescue
Sven: shatter every badguy till they're all blown awaaaayyyy
Boris: lol
Boris: Can I just run around stabbing things anyway?  I don't get to kill everythign that often
DM\Arcturus: Boris you notice that the goats:
Taras: Don't goat no soul
Sven: every prick, every horde, every goddamn whore blown awaaaaaaayyyyy
Vasily: They're baaaaaaad to the bone?
DM\Arcturus: a) Are all of slightly different size and shape, as if they were three different, though related, species of goat
DM\Arcturus: b) Are in fact not goats at all, but some sort of statues, cleverly constructed to resemble goats
DM\Arcturus: I don't suppose you have K:arcana
Vasily: Goat of X
Albrecht: ooh more figurines
Vasily: Figures.
DM\Arcturus: In any case
Boris: Boris knows nothign of Arcana
DM\Arcturus: There are no relevant threats in the immediate vicinity
Boris: he prays to nikolai that he might know more
DM\Arcturus: Though there are six more giants spread across the battlefield
DM\Arcturus: And those Thrym Hounds
Nikolai: if Boris actually started worshipping for realsies
Nikolai: that would work
Vasily: MDJ over there?
DM\Arcturus: Toward the front of the infantry lines
Sven: but are any of them surrounded by hags storming bitches?
Vasily: Has the storm abated?
DM\Arcturus: No, there are no more hags to be seen
Nikolai: yeah the storm seems to have abated?
Sven: yeah, that storm is done
DM\Arcturus: Yes, the stormcloud over Hakon's forces is dissipating even as we speak
Nikolai: said sandy earlier
Sven: ours are still going
DM\Arcturus: Correct
Vasily: kk
Vasily: Are they still outgunned?
Sven: but if you ask Taras
Nikolai: I think it might be prudent to retreat to the Skidbladnir for now
Vasily: ok
Sven: apparently it gets a little loud and now I'm the asshole
Nikolai: and if the giants mkake trouble
Nikolai: we intervene again
Vasily: Invis Sphere + everyone uses their mass fly?
Nikolai: at least we should not be fighting within our own Storms
Sven: flying t-rexen are the best
Nikolai: is my thought
Vasily: Fair enough
Vasily: laaame...
Vasily: I wanted to try out VCCC
Vasily: heeey...
Nikolai: well you might still get the chance
Vasily: I should have actually gotten a swift action on my turn
Vasily: Not unless we engage in the next 2 minutes
Nikolai: oh
DM\Arcturus: Well you got all the actions you like on your turn
Vasily: on the surprise turn
DM\Arcturus: oh
DM\Arcturus: well
DM\Arcturus: It's sort of moot now isn't it?
Vasily: one of the hags was pwned harder
Taras: :3
DM\Arcturus: Great :p
Vasily: actually...
Vasily: yes, yes it does
Vasily: did she have an effect on her?
DM\Arcturus: Yes
Vasily: !try 20;VCCC-Dispel
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Vasily :
* DiceBot (VCCC-Dispel)  1d20 < 16 = 16 > + 20 = 36
DM\Arcturus: That dispelled it
Vasily: what spell level?
DM\Arcturus: 2
Vasily: aw
Vasily: ok, well, 4 temp hp for me
DM\Arcturus: So
DM\Arcturus: Back to the ship and watch developments?
Nikolai: Sounds good to me
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
DM\Arcturus: So, the remaining six giants continue attempting to get the goblins under control
DM\Arcturus: And have some success; they order the army to keep moving forward, and the ranks behind the storms to spread out and go around
DM\Arcturus: Nonetheless, the crushing hail massacres the goblin ranks, taking out many hundreds
Taras: Wow that's some hail :o
Nikolai: 5d6 of it.
Vasily: A hail mary play?
Sven: :|
Vasily: hail nikolai, I guess
Taras: Maybe his real name is Mary.
Taras: And it's one of those things where he's embarrassed by it
Taras: So he says his name is Nikolai
Nikolai: i'd be impressed if that were true
DM\Arcturus: It's only after they clear the storm that the goblins all realize that their leader is gone; news of his defeat spreads outward through the ranks, from the troops near where his mastodon now tramples forward, goblin handlers barely keeping it in check
Nikolai: meanwhile Hakon is killing the fuck out of their front lines, right
DM\Arcturus: The morale hit is clear and substantial; the goblin drummers redouble their efforts, but it's clear that the previous confidence in the goblin ranks is gone
Vasily: Their leader's name was Al.
Vasily: Now there's no more Al.
Nikolai: x_x
DM\Arcturus: However, the goblins on wolf-back seem to be the better-trained, elite warriors in their army, and do not quail
DM\Arcturus: They now ride out toward Hakon's forces
DM\Arcturus: They ride close, throwing volleys of javelins, and circle back, forming up near the edges of the battlefield
DM\Arcturus: A number of the Varangians are wounded, but not many; a just-in-time set of well-placed Wind Wall spells protect a good chunk of their line
DM\Arcturus: As well, many of the winter wolves fall into the assorted traps laid for them by Hakon
DM\Arcturus: Snow-covered pits, treacherous, sharply spiked ice fields, and a number of other hazards make a dent in the goblin cavalry's numbers
DM\Arcturus: But now the main ranks advance.
DM\Arcturus: Hakon's troops prepare to charge down the hill
Nikolai: Sven, got any more natural disasters in your back pocket?
Vasily: hmm
Sven: uhh
Vasily: as they're advancing.
* Boris is a natural disaster
Nikolai: do you fit in Sven's back pocket
Sven: a tsunami could cover a little bit
Taras: That depends what Sven is shaped into I suppose
Vasily: the ground begins to claw at them, as if something from their deepest darkest nightmares were coming out to grasp at them.
Taras: How about as Hakon's army is charging them
Taras: So it looks like their lines break at the sight
Vasily: a line of nightmare terrain intercepts them and tries to supplement the traps, scaring and/or convincing them that the safest route is through the trap.
Taras: Then dispel the effect once Hakon arrives
Vasily: yes.
Vasily: that sounds like a splendid idea
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Nikolai: works for me
Nikolai: how much area can that cover?
Vasily: not much
Vasily: let's see
DM\Arcturus: looks like about 200+ feet of the line
Nikolai: ok so this is just a few dudes
Nikolai: oh
Nikolai: that's not bad
Vasily: 240 ft
DM\Arcturus: It's a decent bit.
Vasily: 240x10 ft line
DM\Arcturus: The goblins cry out in fear and surprise as the terrain itself rises up to attack them
DM\Arcturus: Hakon takes this as a sign
DM\Arcturus: And calls out
Sven: tsunami is another 380 ft if you want it
Boris: hah
DM\Arcturus: "In Nikolai's name! Back to Jotunheim with these fiends! CHARGE!"
Nikolai: yeah tsunami the fuck out of them too
Vasily: Can throw in some black tentacles too for good measure.
DM\Arcturus: And the Varangian warriors spill down the hillside, roaring and yelling as they go, laughing at the screaming and dying goblins
DM\Arcturus: Hakon and Brunhilda remain at the hilltop for now
Albrecht: tentacles is too small
DM\Arcturus: But their sons charge down with the rest
Taras: Remain at the top of the hilltop? What kind of devotion is that.
Nikolai: they're waiting for the big guys
DM\Arcturus: One of them shapeshifts into a sabretooth tiger and begins to pounce on goblins
Vasily: 6 giants, and some trolls
Nikolai: fact of the matter is that they are both way higher level than their troops
DM\Arcturus: The others go to work with their axes
Nikolai: actually the trolls dispersed
DM\Arcturus: Ah, the trolls
DM\Arcturus: In fact they retreated into the marsh
Nikolai: yeah
DM\Arcturus: Back under cover of fog
Vasily: what are they up to?
DM\Arcturus: They seem to be waiting for a good time to strike
DM\Arcturus: Hakon posted a couple of his druids to monitor them in bird form
Vasily: shall we take a side trek to mop up there?
DM\Arcturus: And occasionally do some fire spells to discourage approaches
DM\Arcturus: Anyway
Nikolai: Hakon's got it covered I think
Vasily: ahh, nm then
DM\Arcturus: As the first line of goblins breaks
Vasily: flamestriking birds.
Vasily: I miss grzmot
Albrecht: yeah sounds like we've done our jobs here
Nikolai: we certainly got us past the big hump
DM\Arcturus: The remainder of that line retreats toward the rest of the army
Vasily: Witch hump?
Nikolai: there might be some other issues we can solve but let's see what happens
Sven: :/
DM\Arcturus: Hakon's warriors take a breath for a moment...
Taras: Can you hurricane the other goblins into Hakon's lines?
Taras: Just like
Taras: a dustpan
Nikolai: probably not
DM\Arcturus: And find themselves staring into the cold eyes of the Huge wolflike creatures known as Thrym Hounds.
Nikolai: like control winds is not that precise
DM\Arcturus: The sounds of battle quiet for a moment
DM\Arcturus: The creatures' eyes flash
DM\Arcturus: And... something happens... in waves before them, it seems as if the air itself freezes solid...
Nikolai: what sort of nonsense is this.
Taras: It's a shame we dont' have like
Taras: Mass Embiggen
Nikolai: it exists but it's 1 creature/lvl
Vasily: any chance for a spellcraft or knowledge check on that?
DM\Arcturus: And screams pierce the air; human screams, as entire ranks of Hakon's warriors are killed instantly, frozen solid in a single moment
Nikolai: aw what
Nikolai: ok enough of this crap
Nikolai: cleanup crew!
Nikolai: assemble
Vasily: indeed!
Albrecht: i figured these were dangerous types
Vasily: MDJ in there?
Nikolai: also knowledge checks
Nikolai: yeah seems reasonable
Sven: how much time has passed?
DM\Arcturus: The giants, from the backs of their mastodon mounts, smirk and laugh at this
Vasily: indeed... how much time?
DM\Arcturus: From killing the hags? Perhaps 10 minutes
Sven: ok
DM\Arcturus: nah, more like 15
Vasily: so still in Min/lvl domain
DM\Arcturus: At the edge of it, yeah
Nikolai: do we think that
Nikolai: hm
Nikolai: can like, each of us kill one of these?
Nikolai: they're spread out
Vasily: well...
DM\Arcturus: At this point, you see Hakon heft his axe, and Brunhilda also; and their sons as well
Vasily: Let's get a knowledge first
Nikolai: yeah
Nikolai: i really want to know what that was
DM\Arcturus: Roll K:arcana plz
Boris: knowledge....
Boris: ah
Nikolai: !try 27
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Nikolai :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 5 = 5 > + 27 = 32
DM\Arcturus: Vasily?
Vasily: !try 20
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Vasily :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 10 = 10 > + 20 = 30
DM\Arcturus: k.
Vasily: was just looking it up
Nikolai: your arcana is only 20?
Vasily: Haven't been buffing it in a while.
DM\Arcturus: You're not sure what it was; some sort of cold-damage effect they created, seemingly just by looking at the Varangians
Nikolai: a cold gaze eh
DM\Arcturus: It looked like it affected a line straight from them
Sven: well that sounds like some bullshit
Vasily: line, or cone?
Nikolai: we might want to put on some PFE before we go down there
Vasily: seems like a reasonable precaution
Albrecht: I am under orders to get some slaves to do interior decoration. Erin doesn't believe we're evil.
DM\Arcturus: You DO know that these creatures, said to be Thrym's gift to his favored frost giant jarls and priests, have very thick hides made of ice and rock, that impale people attacking them
DM\Arcturus: Line
Albrecht: She wants a plate of skulls.
Nikolai: tell Erin that the reason Nikolai is a God in the first place is because he stole divine power 
Boris: would reach weapons be appropriate?
Nikolai: also tell Erin that we literally assembled a death machine out of babies
Nikolai: it was for a good cause
Nikolai: but you know
Boris: or is this if you're careful you don't get stabbed
DM\Arcturus: Anyway, in the meantime, the sons of Hakon and Brunhilda charge the nearest hounds, with teeth and claws and blades
Nikolai: great so
Nikolai: we PFE up
Nikolai: and then go flank those hounds for a round
Nikolai: wink + nod
Nikolai: and disappear
Nikolai: >_>
DM\Arcturus: Their attacks, however, do nothing; and the creatures' spiked hides strike at them, wounding them
Nikolai: aw
Nikolai: ok well
Sven: that sounds serious
Nikolai: I guess we have to put more effort in then
DM\Arcturus: Hakon now hefts his axe
DM\Arcturus: And Brunhilda as well
Nikolai: how many dudes can we get in place at a time
Nikolai: Boris can teleport
Boris: true
Nikolai: Albrecht can teleport
DM\Arcturus: (Chris, if you could bring up Brunhilda's sheet, you can roll things for her if need be)
DM\Arcturus: (and tactics for her also)
Nikolai: Taras and Sven would need help
Sven: and my t-rex
Sven: uhh
DM\Arcturus: So, the hounds are fairly spread out
DM\Arcturus: They've got about
Albrecht: we start at one end and work our way to the other killing hounds
Vasily: everyone take a hound then?
Sven: I am totally ok with you rolling for Brunhilda
Albrecht: or that
DM\Arcturus: 40-50 feet between each
Nikolai: is that all?
DM\Arcturus: And there's about
Vasily: How many?
DM\Arcturus: 20 of them
DM\Arcturus: in total
Nikolai: ah
Nikolai: i see
Nikolai: then I think we start on either end
Nikolai: and work our way in
Nikolai: like two teams
Vasily: seems reasonable.
DM\Arcturus: okeydokey
DM\Arcturus: What's the teams, then
Nikolai: gonna suggest:
Nikolai: Albrecht, Boris, Vasily
Nikolai: Taras, Sven, Nikolai
Nikolai: eh
Vasily: swap Taras and Boris
Nikolai: that puts all the plate in one group
Nikolai: no Sven and Nikolai should be separated
Nikolai: Albrecht, Sven, Vasily
Vasily: Sven and Boris?
Nikolai: Taras Boris Nikolai
Nikolai: there
DM\Arcturus: Alright
DM\Arcturus: In that case we'll do this separately
Vasily: Do we need to detail this or can we just take turns?
Nikolai: one of these groups is in way better shape I think
DM\Arcturus: Brunhilda & Co. will do things at the middle of the line and so won't affect you guys
Taras: Don't you stick me with Boris
Taras: I don't trust that fucker one bit.
Nikolai: fine
DM\Arcturus: We don't need shared init, we can in fact just do straightforward turns
Nikolai: Albrecht, Boris, Nikolai
Boris: lol
Nikolai: Taras, Sven Vasily
Nikolai: ok?
Albrecht: Ok I need to toss one of the hounds a ball
DM\Arcturus: ABN TSV eh
Albrecht: so I can see it play with it
Albrecht: then I can kill it and it will be evil because I'm killing a puppy.
Albrecht: so sayeth Erin.
Nikolai: -_-
Nikolai: yeah
Albrecht: and by "a ball" I mean a snow goblin head.
Nikolai: I like those groups
Nikolai: let's go with them
Vasily: Let's roll
Albrecht: Gulinbursti can take care of that.
DM\Arcturus: Ok
DM\Arcturus: I put a could hounds on the Hugin map for any flanking/spell targeting that needs to take place
DM\Arcturus: They are of course in actuality hundreds of feet apart
Vasily: if they're all 40/50 ft apare...
Vasily: then let's just manually track flanking.
DM\Arcturus: Well, since they have a line effect thingie
Vasily: *apart
DM\Arcturus: It might matter
DM\Arcturus: Maybe not, we'll see
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
Vasily: we handle it intelligently and don't stand in a line.
DM\Arcturus: So, group 1
DM\Arcturus: Albrecht, Boris, Nikolai
DM\Arcturus: Do things plz.
Nikolai: Flame Strike!
Boris: I'm not sure how much I like this get stabbed every time I stab thing
DM\Arcturus: Well *I* like it.
Nikolai: it's ok you have DR
DM\Arcturus: And that's what counts
DM\Arcturus: Right
Nikolai: so yeah
Nikolai: flame strike
Nikolai: how about that
DM\Arcturus: Ref DC?
Nikolai: 26
DM\Arcturus: !try 15;hound
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (hound)  1d20 < 18 = 18 > + 15 = 33
Nikolai: !roll 15d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Nikolai : 15d6 < 6 2 4 6 2 4 3 3 5 1 4 5 6 3 1 = 55 > = 55
Nikolai: poop
DM\Arcturus: 27 eh
Vasily: immunity to fire, eh?
Nikolai: that would suck
DM\Arcturus: No, he made his save
Vasily: ah
Nikolai: are they... vulnerable to fire?
DM\Arcturus: no.
Nikolai: curses
DM\Arcturus: Boris, Albrecht
Nikolai: ok boys, kill em
DM\Arcturus: do stuff
Boris: hmmm
DM\Arcturus: Well while they figure out what they're doing
DM\Arcturus: Vasily, Taras, Sven
DM\Arcturus: What're you guys doing
Vasily: Radiant assault on the first two.
DM\Arcturus: Radiant, you say
Boris: I suppose I'll stab 'em
Albrecht: I'm just doing boar + sword
DM\Arcturus: Assault, you say
Vasily: or on a pair that are within 40 ft
Nikolai: good point
Vasily: indeed
DM\Arcturus: Yes, first 2 is fine
Sven: t-rex full attacks
Vasily: an assault of radiance
Albrecht: (I assume these do not count as infidels)
DM\Arcturus: So what's that, a Will half?
Vasily: will half
DM\Arcturus: I forget how RA save works
Nikolai: nikolai does also quickened Radiant Assault
Vasily: will partial
DM\Arcturus: They do not count as infidels, no
Boris: Are we only stabbing once this round or what?  also either way I wait for the flank
DM\Arcturus: Ok let's see
Nikolai: on two that he can hit without hitting Albrecht or Boris
DM\Arcturus: This is vs. Vasily:
Vasily: And then... a swift darkbolt at one of them as well
DM\Arcturus: !try 15 15
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 7 = 7 > + 15 = 22
* DiceBot 1d20 < 14 = 14 > + 15 = 29
Nikolai: Boris you should be able to move in and attack
Vasily: fail, pass
Taras: Yeah like I don't see what I can really do except apply glaive at problem
Albrecht: yeah that's what we're here for
Nikolai: yep
Nikolai: so do it
Vasily: !roll 15d6;damage
* DiceBot rolls dice for Vasily : (damage) 15d6 < 3 4 2 1 6 4 6 3 1 4 6 2 1 5 5 = 53 > = 53
Vasily: !roll 1d6;blindedOrDazzled
* DiceBot rolls dice for Vasily : (blindedOrDazzled) 1d6 < 4 = 4 > = 4
Vasily: 1's blinded for 4 rounds, the other's dazzledd
Taras: Which one do I glaive at though
Nikolai: the one in front of you.
Nikolai: there's only one.
Nikolai: it's not a choice.
Albrecht: !try 20;sword,charge,pa17 20;tusk,pa4
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot (sword,charge,pa17)  1d20 < 5 = 5 > + 20 = 25
* DiceBot (tusk,pa4)  1d20 < 12 = 12 > + 20 = 32
DM\Arcturus: vs. Nikolai:
DM\Arcturus: !try 15 15
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 10 = 10 > + 15 = 25
* DiceBot 1d20 < 15 = 15 > + 15 = 30
Nikolai: !roll 15d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Nikolai : 15d6 < 6 2 2 4 4 3 4 5 6 6 2 4 1 2 2 = 53 > = 53
Nikolai: double fail
Nikolai: !roll 1d6;duration
* DiceBot rolls dice for Nikolai : (duration) 1d6 < 5 = 5 > = 5
Vasily: and the one that's dazzled also gets a sneak attack darkbolt thrown at him.
Nikolai: 5 rounds of daze
Taras: So I guess I'll give it a slashing flurry
Albrecht: don't you mean blinded?
Vasily: Blind
Taras: since I can't see anyone else attacking it
Sven: t-rex:
Sven: !try 36
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 9 = 9 > + 36 = 45
Nikolai: um
Taras: I'll just assume I have to do my own exploration
Nikolai: radiant assault dazes
Boris: single flanking invisible stab ....
Boris: !try 32
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 16 = 16 > + 32 = 48
Nikolai: and then dazzles if you make the save
DM\Arcturus: V, roll attack roll, then tell me what save to roll
Taras: Magebane applies to these, right?
Vasily: !try 16;TouchOnTheDazzledOne
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Vasily :
* DiceBot (TouchOnTheDazzledOne)  1d20 < 6 = 6 > + 16 = 22
* Boris waits for resolutions
Albrecht: ah I see, do damage to the one that's not useless
DM\Arcturus: Albrecht, neither of those are hits
Nikolai: i RA'd the far ones
Vasily: Fort for that
DM\Arcturus: And, you and boar both get attacked by spikes:
DM\Arcturus: !try 19;boar 19;albrecht
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (boar)  1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 19 = 23
* DiceBot (albrecht)  1d20 < 3 = 3 > + 19 = 22
Nikolai: lol.
DM\Arcturus: V, touch hits
Albrecht: i guess I PA'd too hard
Sven: oh, attack rolls? even hilariouser
Albrecht: no dice on hitting us though
DM\Arcturus: !try 22;fort_vs_vasily
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (fort_vs_vasily)  1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 22 = 26
Sven: I guess I can quicken CotS and full attack as well
Vasily: He's not stunned... is he sneakable?
DM\Arcturus: Yep
Taras: !Sandy> Does Magebane apply vs them
Vasily: full damage (though half of it is cold)
DM\Arcturus: Taras: no
DM\Arcturus: I lied
DM\Arcturus: yes it does
Vasily: !roll 5d6+7d6+1
* DiceBot rolls dice for Vasily : 5d6 < 4 5 2 5 5 = 21 > + 7d6 < 6 2 5 6 1 1 2 = 23 > + 1 = 45
Nikolai: why such a liar
DM\Arcturus: They have A spell-like ability, go figure
Vasily: 45 cold/unholy damage
DM\Arcturus: "Of course they do, Sandy, it's that thing that they used!" no it is not
Sven: lol
DM\Arcturus: Ok
DM\Arcturus: Boris, Taras, Sven?
Taras: !try 25;pa7 25;pa7
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Taras :
* DiceBot (pa7)  1d20 < 11 = 11 > + 25 = 36
* DiceBot (pa7)  1d20 < 18 = 18 > + 25 = 43
Sven: I rolled an attack for my t-rex
Sven: is 45 a hit?
Taras: We need to get my glaive keened!!
Taras: dammit >:l
Boris: if we're rolling for FAs then I need to do more math, but that would remain my first attack (-1 TWF, +1 haste)
Boris: first roll above is 48
Taras: Wait are we rolling FAs??
Boris: !try 32 33 27 28 22 23
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 6 = 6 > + 32 = 38
* DiceBot 1d20 < 20 = 20 > + 33 = 53
* DiceBot 1d20 < 1 = 1 > + 27 = 28
* DiceBot 1d20 < 7 = 7 > + 28 = 35
* DiceBot 1d20 < 5 = 5 > + 22 = 27
* DiceBot 1d20 < 18 = 18 > + 23 = 41
Boris: !try 33
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 6 = 6 > + 33 = 39
Nikolai: I'm thinking Sandy should be answering that before you all roll a bunch of dice.
Taras: I think sandy hit load collapse
Sven: c'est possible
Nikolai: too many threads
DM\Arcturus: You see
DM\Arcturus: Karen just linked me this trailer
Taras: :l
DM\Arcturus: For Maleficent
Boris: :/
DM\Arcturus: Which looks AMAZING
Boris: we should wrap this up soon ...
DM\Arcturus: So I had to watch that
DM\Arcturus: Yeah
DM\Arcturus: Now let's see
DM\Arcturus: No full-round actions yet
DM\Arcturus: Next round there will be
Albrecht: I guess we'll see if these guys actually threaten us
DM\Arcturus: Taras: that was one hit
Sven: remind me, are partial charges a thing here?
Taras: holy balls
DM\Arcturus: They are on surprise rounds
Taras: too much AC
DM\Arcturus: And for the miss, here's a spikes vs. you:
DM\Arcturus: !try 19;spikes
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (spikes)  1d20 < 20 = 20 > + 19 = 39
Boris: oh wow I forgot I had two weapon slice....
DM\Arcturus: Is that a hit at all
Taras: That is a hit
Taras: my AC is 37
DM\Arcturus: !try 19;confirm
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (confirm)  1d20 < 2 = 2 > + 19 = 21
DM\Arcturus: ok
Taras: The stoneskin is DR10 100hp?
DM\Arcturus: !roll 1d8+4
* DiceBot rolls dice for DM\Arcturus : 1d8 < 2 = 2 > + 4 = 6
Nikolai: 120 hp 
DM\Arcturus: yes
DM\Arcturus: So
DM\Arcturus: What was that from Boris
DM\Arcturus: A full attack?
Boris: so my first two swings would work out to be 47 and 37
Sven: so I can partial and pounce, then?
DM\Arcturus: Ok
DM\Arcturus: That's a hit and a miss
Boris: for a single standard action attack
DM\Arcturus: Sven: yes
DM\Arcturus: Boris: here's spikes vs. you for the miss
DM\Arcturus: !try 19;spikes
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (spikes)  1d20 < 14 = 14 > + 19 = 33
Sven: also if taras' 43 is a hit then so is the dinosaur's 45
Sven: so
Boris: Nikolai magic vestment is SOP right?  makes that just a miss
Sven: !roll 4d6+31
* DiceBot rolls dice for Sven : 4d6 < 5 3 4 6 = 18 > + 31 = 49
Nikolai: sure
Sven: and also a grapple check please
Sven: !try 41
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 13 = 13 > + 41 = 54
DM\Arcturus: I entirely missed your dinosaur's roll
DM\Arcturus: Sorry
DM\Arcturus: But yes a 45 is a hit
Albrecht: basically if it's 10 min/level or longer and doesn't have a costly material component, it's SOP
Boris: sneak attack was a yes, right?
Taras: !roll 1d10+47+2d6+1d6+4;OneHit
* DiceBot rolls dice for Taras : (OneHit) 1d10 < 3 = 3 > + 47 + 2d6 < 3 6 = 9 > + 1d6 < 4 = 4 > + 4 = 67
Albrecht: (and not a high level slot)
Vasily: yep
DM\Arcturus: SA: yes
Boris: !roll 1d6+10+9d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Boris : 1d6 < 5 = 5 > + 10 + 9d6 < 4 2 1 6 5 4 6 4 2 = 34 > = 49
Boris: aw....no save :(
Sven: and for the pounce:
Sven: !try 32 32 25 32 32
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 32 = 36
* DiceBot 1d20 < 9 = 9 > + 32 = 41
* DiceBot 1d20 < 10 = 10 > + 25 = 35
* DiceBot 1d20 < 16 = 16 > + 32 = 48
* DiceBot 1d20 < 13 = 13 > + 32 = 45
Sven: oof
DM\Arcturus: Well
Taras: Oh wait
Taras: We're getting sneak attacks?
Taras: That's actually important
DM\Arcturus: yes
Vasily: yep
Taras: !roll 1d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Taras : 1d6 < 1 = 1 > = 1
Taras: Add that to the damage
Boris: lol
Nikolai: important, huh
Vasily: hah
Sven: maybe it being grappled will be helpful
Taras: and then the wolf is staggered unless fort sv damage dealt
Boris: important damage
DM\Arcturus: one sec
DM\Arcturus: Taras: you killed it
Taras: (Staggering strke)
Nikolai: rofl
Taras: Oh, ok
Sven: oh
Sven: never mind then
Nikolai: everything is hilarious
Sven: I guess I pounce nothing
DM\Arcturus: Sven: that pounce was presumably vs. the next one
DM\Arcturus: Right?
Sven: sure
DM\Arcturus: ok
Nikolai: totes mcgoats
DM\Arcturus: 3 hits
DM\Arcturus: 2 spikes vs. you:
DM\Arcturus: !try 19 19
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 8 = 8 > + 19 = 27
* DiceBot 1d20 < 3 = 3 > + 19 = 22
DM\Arcturus: sigh
Sven: don't even bother rolling
Sven: they can't hit me
DM\Arcturus: k.
DM\Arcturus: Meanwhile, who wants a picture
DM\Arcturus: Here have this:
Sven: !roll 12d6+36
* DiceBot rolls dice for Sven : 12d6 < 5 6 1 6 2 4 1 5 5 1 4 3 = 43 > + 36 = 79
DM\Arcturus: http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM5_Gallery/106340.jpg
Vasily: Simple, to the point.
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
DM\Arcturus: Their turn.
DM\Arcturus: Team ABN:
Boris: did Al stab this thing yet?
DM\Arcturus: yes.
Albrecht: I missed
Albrecht: rolled a 5 :(
Boris: stop failing, i need to sleep soon :(
DM\Arcturus: The nearest three hounds look at you.
DM\Arcturus: They look at you so hard that you take COLD DAMAGE
Sven: that's a pretty hard look
Boris: but I'm invisible!
DM\Arcturus: And by "you" I of course mean Boris
DM\Arcturus: ok
DM\Arcturus: Maybe not
DM\Arcturus: Who's visible
DM\Arcturus: Albrecht?
Vasily: Chilling gaze
DM\Arcturus: Is Nikolai visible
Nikolai: never
Albrecht: I am visible
DM\Arcturus: I guess everyone looks at Albrecht
Sven: lol
DM\Arcturus: Roll 3x Ref save plz k thx
Albrecht: so I what, roll saves?
Sven: even I'll look at him
Albrecht: and this is of course Su
Sven: <_<
DM\Arcturus: yes
Albrecht: !try 20 20 20
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 17 = 17 > + 20 = 37
* DiceBot 1d20 < 16 = 16 > + 20 = 36
* DiceBot 1d20 < 18 = 18 > + 20 = 38
DM\Arcturus: Got any cold resistance?
Albrecht: did we PFE it?
Nikolai: we put up PFE
DM\Arcturus: All of those succeed
Nikolai: from our wand
DM\Arcturus: PFE eh
DM\Arcturus: Ok so then take half of this:
DM\Arcturus: !roll 39d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for DM\Arcturus : 39d6 < 6 2 2 6 1 5 5 1 1 2 3 2 2 5 5 1 2 6 6 3 4 5 1 5 6 5 4 6 1 4 4 1 6 4 3 3 4 1 1 = 134 > = 134
Nikolai: it's CL 11 PFE
Albrecht: impressive
DM\Arcturus: !roll 3d4
* DiceBot rolls dice for DM\Arcturus : 3d4 < 1 2 1 = 4 > = 4
Albrecht: PFE is 12/level?
Nikolai: yyyyyes
DM\Arcturus: 10/
DM\Arcturus: 12?
DM\Arcturus: Really?
Vasily: 12
Sven: 12
Albrecht: yeah, 12, capped at 120 I think
Nikolai: Protection from energy grants temporary immunity to the type of energy you specify when you cast it (acid, cold, electricity, fire, or sonic). When the spell absorbs 12 points per caster level of energy damage (to a maximum of 120 points at 10th level), it is discharged.
DM\Arcturus: yes
Albrecht: recorded
DM\Arcturus: ok
Sven: so 67 off
DM\Arcturus: Team TSV:
Albrecht: yeah, a little over half down
DM\Arcturus: Who's visible
Sven: I am
DM\Arcturus: Looks like Sven is visible
Albrecht: also the one next to me takes an AoO unless it moved
Vasily: Everyone but V
Nikolai: oh
Sven: lol tank shit
Nikolai: Sandy I have a problem
Nikolai: with that
Albrecht: !try 20
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 20 = 20 > + 20 = 40
DM\Arcturus: what
Nikolai: that was 3 gazes right?
Albrecht: !try 24;conf
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot (conf)  1d20 < 2 = 2 > + 24 = 26
DM\Arcturus: yes
Nikolai: so the 2 next guys over
DM\Arcturus: (not confirmed)
Nikolai: are dazed for 5 rounds
DM\Arcturus: Oh that's true.
Nikolai: from my quickened heightened radiant assault
Vasily: and one of the ones near us is blind
DM\Arcturus: Well
Sven: sounds like they're dead then
DM\Arcturus: The blind one near you got killed
Albrecht: (hmm were these outsiders or some such? or not infidels?)
DM\Arcturus: Also, blind?
Sven: not infidels
DM\Arcturus: Don't you mean dazed?
DM\Arcturus: Radiant Assault, right?
Nikolai: he means dazed/.
Vasily: and by that, I mean dazed
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
DM\Arcturus: So:
DM\Arcturus: Albrecht, you took less things
Albrecht: ok so that was actually PA 15 not 17, either way
Albrecht: !roll 1d10+1d6+18+30
* DiceBot rolls dice for Albrecht : 1d10 < 3 = 3 > + 1d6 < 2 = 2 > + 18 + 30 = 53
DM\Arcturus: It doesn't matter how much less, the answer is: not enough for you to care
DM\Arcturus: Oh look, that kills a thing
DM\Arcturus: Grats
Albrecht: well, I lost less PFE
Albrecht: but I don't think it'll matter
DM\Arcturus: So
DM\Arcturus: Where were we
Sven: staring at my party
Albrecht: TSV hound(s)
DM\Arcturus: Right.
DM\Arcturus: Two hounds look at Sven
Vasily: one of which is dazzled
DM\Arcturus: yes
DM\Arcturus: Sven roll Reflex
Sven: !try 19 19
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 10 = 10 > + 19 = 29
* DiceBot 1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 19 = 23
DM\Arcturus: One success
Nikolai: so adam I'd divide that by 3
Nikolai: to get your damage
DM\Arcturus: Take .75 of:
DM\Arcturus: !roll 26d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for DM\Arcturus : 26d6 < 4 5 4 5 5 4 5 4 4 6 4 6 4 6 1 2 3 2 2 2 5 1 6 2 4 6 = 102 > = 102
DM\Arcturus: Look what a nice number
DM\Arcturus: 76 damage, grats
Sven: word
DM\Arcturus: !roll 2d4
* DiceBot rolls dice for DM\Arcturus : 2d4 < 2 4 = 6 > = 6
DM\Arcturus: trbl
Nikolai: qq mr. breath gaze weapon 
DM\Arcturus: Ok
DM\Arcturus: Team ABN, what's up
Albrecht: (yeah, I had 67, I took off 43? either way I think it'll not matter)
DM\Arcturus: Team TSV, likewise what's up
Albrecht: I think we engage the next
Albrecht: I charge the next one with my flying pig
Sven: my t-rex eats the next wolf
Taras: So I have to charge the next one
DM\Arcturus: yes
Sven: and I pounce the folowing one, I assume
DM\Arcturus: Also yes
Taras: Because these are all 40ft apart
Nikolai: remember team ABN
DM\Arcturus: All of those are things
Nikolai: we have 2 dazed guys
Sven: !try 38
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 16 = 16 > + 38 = 54
Taras: your TREX can't eat it if I get there first!
DM\Arcturus: Well now it's 1 dazed guy
Taras: dammit.
Albrecht: !try 20;boar,pa4 20;sword,pa15
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Albrecht :
* DiceBot (boar,pa4)  1d20 < 3 = 3 > + 20 = 23
* DiceBot (sword,pa15)  1d20 < 11 = 11 > + 20 = 31
Taras: He got there first.
DM\Arcturus: First dazed guy is dead
Sven: !roll 4d6+31
* DiceBot rolls dice for Sven : 4d6 < 5 2 1 4 = 12 > + 31 = 43
Albrecht: well at least I think my regular attack hits
Nikolai: no no
Nikolai: the first guy was not dazed.
DM\Arcturus: oh.
Nikolai: the next two guys were dazed
DM\Arcturus: ok.
Sven: and if it's not dead get that bitch a grapple check
Albrecht: !roll 1d10+1d6+18+30;assuming31hits
* DiceBot rolls dice for Albrecht : (assuming31hits) 1d10 < 10 = 10 > + 1d6 < 3 = 3 > + 18 + 30 = 61
Vasily: Can I assume that the two wolves got closer to one another?
Vasily: given their gaze attacks?
Taras: 31 doesn't hit
DM\Arcturus: They did, actually
DM\Arcturus: 20 ft apart now
Vasily: and if so, let me try to nuke them before closing.
Vasily: ok, good
Taras: I missed on a 36
DM\Arcturus: 31 misses, indeed
Sven: !try 41;grapple
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Sven :
* DiceBot (grapple)  1d20 < 14 = 14 > + 41 = 55
Vasily: That sounds like a corrosive blast
DM\Arcturus: So, spikes vs. Albrecht:
Nikolai: hm
DM\Arcturus: !try 19;Albrecht 19;boar
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (Albrecht)  1d20 < 14 = 14 > + 19 = 33
* DiceBot (boar)  1d20 < 11 = 11 > + 19 = 30
Taras: OK so I'm going to chill here
DM\Arcturus: !roll 1d8+4;boar
* DiceBot rolls dice for DM\Arcturus : (boar) 1d8 < 2 = 2 > + 4 = 6
DM\Arcturus: Boris
Vasily: !try 15;touch 
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Vasily :
* DiceBot (touch)  1d20 < 7 = 7 > + 15 = 22
Vasily: and roll them up ref saves
DM\Arcturus: touch hit
DM\Arcturus: !try 15 15
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 5 = 5 > + 15 = 20
* DiceBot 1d20 < 17 = 17 > + 15 = 32
Nikolai: Nikolai begins casting Summon Elemental Monolith.
Vasily: fail, pass
Albrecht: yeah so I think this is just over
Sven: wow
Nikolai: is that not necessary?
Vasily: !roll 15d6;acid
* DiceBot rolls dice for Vasily : (acid) 15d6 < 6 3 3 1 1 6 6 4 6 4 1 3 2 3 1 = 50 > = 50
Boris: stabby time?
Nikolai: maybe it's not necessary
DM\Arcturus: !try 29;grapple_vs_sven
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (grapple_vs_sven)  1d20 < 7 = 7 > + 29 = 36
Vasily: one of them also takes...
DM\Arcturus: sux
Sven: a monolith, eh
DM\Arcturus: I guess the T-rex just eats that dude
Vasily: !roll 5d6+7d6+1
* DiceBot rolls dice for Vasily : 5d6 < 1 1 6 6 6 = 20 > + 7d6 < 2 1 5 3 6 5 5 = 27 > + 1 = 48
Vasily: and...
Sven: so that one is grappled and taras can kill it maybe
Sven: I'm charging the next one
Boris: !try 32 32 33 27 28 22 23
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 19 = 19 > + 32 = 51
* DiceBot 1d20 < 8 = 8 > + 32 = 40
* DiceBot 1d20 < 8 = 8 > + 33 = 41
* DiceBot 1d20 < 17 = 17 > + 27 = 44
* DiceBot 1d20 < 3 = 3 > + 28 = 31
* DiceBot 1d20 < 15 = 15 > + 22 = 37
* DiceBot 1d20 < 2 = 2 > + 23 = 25
DM\Arcturus: That is 4 hits
Boris: !try 32
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Boris :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 13 = 13 > + 32 = 45
DM\Arcturus: Confirmed
Nikolai: so if we want to like
Nikolai: kill another 5 of these
Vasily: if either of them survived that..
DM\Arcturus: Spikes vs. Boris:
Nikolai: each
DM\Arcturus: !try 19 19 19
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot 1d20 < 14 = 14 > + 19 = 33
* DiceBot 1d20 < 11 = 11 > + 19 = 30
* DiceBot 1d20 < 4 = 4 > + 19 = 23
Vasily: then one of them also takes a darkbolt
Nikolai: should I pull out the elemental monolith
Sven: oh wait
Nikolai: or should I like
Vasily: !try 15;touch
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Vasily :
* DiceBot (touch)  1d20 < 3 = 3 > + 15 = 18
Boris: fail
Sven: maybe I have misunderstood how many wolves there are?
Vasily: 20 of them
Vasily: well, closer to 10-15 now
Sven: oh that's a lot of wolves
Boris: !roll 2d6+20+9d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Boris : 2d6 < 6 4 = 10 > + 20 + 9d6 < 1 2 3 6 2 3 5 1 2 = 25 > = 55
Sven: I guess it's a matter of time, really
Boris: sav plzkthx
Taras: People need to stop talking to me jesus
Boris: !roll 1d6+10+9d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Boris : 1d6 < 1 = 1 > + 10 + 9d6 < 3 3 3 3 5 2 4 5 3 = 31 > = 42
Taras: What is it with all of a sudden everyone wanting my attention
Taras: Sorry, catching up
Sven: I guess if Nikolai and I both summon monoliths . . .
Nikolai: yeah worth it
Albrecht: unless there's something else, we're pretty much just going to mop up 2-3 a round
Nikolai: they can get some good hits in
Nikolai: maybe smack around the giants
Vasily: yeah.
Nikolai: be good rally points for the troops
Sven: fuck it - belay my charge and monolith instead
Boris: !roll 1d6+8+9d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Boris : 1d6 < 5 = 5 > + 8 + 9d6 < 4 1 1 4 1 3 5 6 5 = 30 > = 43
Nikolai: ok I start summoning
Boris: !roll 1d6+10+9d6
* DiceBot rolls dice for Boris : 1d6 < 6 = 6 > + 10 + 9d6 < 2 5 1 6 5 5 1 6 3 = 34 > = 50
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
Nikolai: go team divine caster
Sven: this is a much funnier plan
Vasily: does an 18 hit touch
Nikolai: haha
Boris: So the wolf thing in front of me gets to eat all that damage
DM\Arcturus: yes
DM\Arcturus: 18 does hit touch
Vasily: !roll 5d8+7d6+1
* DiceBot rolls dice for Vasily : 5d8 < 2 2 8 5 2 = 19 > + 7d6 < 4 3 5 3 4 4 4 = 27 > + 1 = 47
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Vasily: that much more cold/unholy against one of them, and a fort save please
Nikolai: are they taking cold damage?
Boris: ^ yeah...they're ice wolves
Nikolai: because if they are I could be mowing them down with KCC
Vasily: it's a swift action
DM\Arcturus: They are taking cold damage, yes
Nikolai: orly
DM\Arcturus: yarly
Taras: So I'm confused. Is there a wolf for me to charge that is not in some sort of terrible damage zone
Vasily: full cold?
Vasily: or part cold?
Nikolai: i like this elemental thing better
Sven: you can charge the one my t-rex is eating
Nikolai: we have terrible damage zones?
DM\Arcturus: Hm
DM\Arcturus: Boris, that kills it
Taras: I thought your t-rex killed it
Boris: :D
Sven: no, it rolled a grapple check
Taras: [11:19.48] <DM\Arcturus> I guess the T-rex just eats that dude
Sven: a really shameful grapple check
Nikolai: eats != kills
Taras: Oh well then I will help digest
Sven: it would need another action to actually swallow
Nikolai: it's kind of nomming him
Vasily: gotta chew before you swallow
Taras: !try 27;pa5 27;pa5
* DiceBot rolls attempts for Taras :
* DiceBot (pa5)  1d20 < 9 = 9 > + 27 = 36
* DiceBot (pa5)  1d20 < 16 = 16 > + 27 = 43
DM\Arcturus: Miss and hit
Taras: damn you 36.
DM\Arcturus: !try 19;spikes
* DiceBot rolls attempts for DM\Arcturus :
* DiceBot (spikes)  1d20 < 6 = 6 > + 19 = 25
Taras: !roll 1d10+33+2d6+1d6+4
* DiceBot rolls dice for Taras : 1d10 < 10 = 10 > + 33 + 2d6 < 3 4 = 7 > + 1d6 < 1 = 1 > + 4 = 55
Sven: hey nikolai what kind of monolith are we summoning? I think we should match
DM\Arcturus: And Vasily did how much damage?
Sven: o/
Nikolai: i was thinking fire
Nikolai: \o
Taras: There is no fusion dance.
Nikolai: or earth
Taras: For summoning monoliths.
Taras: Clearly fire
Sven: earth is usually my first choice
Vasily: The more wounded-looking one took 48
Vasily: The one that failed the save took another 50
Nikolai: earth is a little more awesome
Nikolai: ok let's go with earth.
Vasily: the one that passed took 25
Vasily: and if either of them survived, that one took another 47 cold/unholy
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
DM\Arcturus: So, monoliths, eh
DM\Arcturus: Meanwhile, Hakon, Brunhilda, & co have taken out two hounds
Vasily: brunhilda is srsly not taking out more?
Vasily: I'm disappointed.
Nikolai: she's old!
Nikolai: give her a break
Vasily: fair enough
DM\Arcturus: There is cheering in the Varangian lines
Vasily: or should I say....
Vasily: laaaaaame
Sven: epic but old
DM\Arcturus: They don't know what to make of you guys at first
Albrecht: sounds like 4-5 hounds per round; another 2-3 rounds and that's over
Vasily: yeah... I can definitely keep nuking for 2-3 rounds.
DM\Arcturus: But after a couple of rounds they seem to conclude that you are some sort of divine warriors from Valhalla
Vasily: Plus we've got the monoliths
DM\Arcturus: Sent to aid them in this battle
DM\Arcturus: And also cheer
Nikolai: excellent
Sven: morale dat ass
DM\Arcturus: When your tremendous elemental monsters appear
DM\Arcturus: There is at first a gasp
Nikolai: oh!
Nikolai: wait
Nikolai: wait wait wait
* DM\Arcturus waits
Nikolai: sandy.
Nikolai: can Vasily Veil at least his group
Nikolai: to actually look like valkyries
Vasily: totally
DM\Arcturus: No reason why not
Nikolai: please please please
Nikolai: yaaaay
Sven: that would make sense
Nikolai: as for us
Nikolai: Albrecht is on a pig
Nikolai: and the other two are invis.
Nikolai: so
Nikolai: yes.
DM\Arcturus: True
Sven: that's about as valkyrie as it gets
* Vasily is invisible, but the others are totally valkyries.
Sven: pigs 'n shit
DM\Arcturus: Albrecht is riding a Divine Creature of Myth™
DM\Arcturus: And thus is obviously the greatest
Nikolai: obvs
DM\Arcturus: He would be even greater if his attack rolls were less bad
Nikolai: :(
DM\Arcturus: But whaddaya gonna do
Taras: Be awesome like Taras
Albrecht: yeah I spent all my good rolls on the boss
Taras: killing wolves takin names
Vasily: He'd be a real hit then
DM\Arcturus: Anyway
DM\Arcturus: As I was saying
DM\Arcturus: When your tremendous elemental monsters appear
Albrecht: sounds like, unless there's another wrinkle, this is a done deal
DM\Arcturus: There is at first a gasp
DM\Arcturus: But when they attack the hounds
Nikolai: then they punch the fuck out of some hounds
DM\Arcturus: There's another collective cheer
Sven: the everloving fuck
Sven: out of some hounds
Nikolai: directly in the jeans
Taras: Right in the mean bean machine!
Sven: revising Levi's with physical harm
Vasily: teeehee... giant valkyrie nomming up wolves.
DM\Arcturus: And, emboldened by this, Hakon gives the order for the rest of his troups to charge past the hounds, who are being kept busy, into the already-faltering goblin lines
Boris: lol
DM\Arcturus: At that point, it is pretty much a slaughter
Albrecht: I wade in and collect a few dozen goblin heads.
Albrecht: seems I need to make a platter.
Sven: divine magic: putting the laughter in slaughter
DM\Arcturus: The six giants, seeing which way the wind is blowing, simply turn around and ride east
Taras: Oh we can't allow that
Nikolai: no def not
Vasily: They get mopped up
Sven: superfuck that
Nikolai: all but one of them dies
Boris: ...fiiiine
Nikolai: I want to know what the hell this was all about.
DM\Arcturus: Any particular method of up-mopping?
Boris: you and your messenger bullcrap
Vasily: the other one takes honey bunches of nonlethal damage.
Nikolai: swords to faces
Albrecht: Chagantai still got away of course
Nikolai: he did but hopefully one of his lieutenants knows shit
Albrecht: yeah doesn't hurt
Albrecht: and seems like there's sufficient heroes to hunt him down
Nikolai: so yeah, apply swords directly to faces
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Nikolai: until all giants are dead or unconscious
DM\Arcturus: The trolls, in the meantime, have quietly retreated deeper into the marsh
DM\Arcturus: You can pursue them, I suppose
Nikolai: meh
Sven: mehhhh
Boris: meh
Nikolai: not interest
Vasily: the cleric might be worth pursuing.
DM\Arcturus: Doesn't look like they have much interest in continuing to engage, though
Nikolai: well he's gone
Nikolai: so
Albrecht: we've done the job
Nikolai: i dunno how we'd do that
Vasily: quite
Nikolai: yeah
Sven: no one ever spotted that guy again
Nikolai: so assuming we can extract one giant
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
Boris: time for sleep and waffles
Nikolai: let us return to the skidbladnir
Albrecht: we killed some dudes, established your return and awesomeness
Nikolai: fuck yeah
Nikolai: I think we did a pretty great job you guys
DM\Arcturus: Some goblins do escape
Albrecht: collected a nice pile of goblin heads for Erin
Nikolai: high fives all around
DM\Arcturus: Especially the cavalry
Vasily: You know what would be awesome...
DM\Arcturus: But all in all
Nikolai: o/\o
DM\Arcturus: This battle is an overwhelming victory
Sven: hey guys, this new All-Father ain't so bad after all
***: Vasily has set the channel mode to “private”
***: Vasily has set the channel mode to “secret”
Nikolai: *fanfare*
DM\Arcturus: Hakon and Brunhilda cheer
DM\Arcturus: And Hakon, gathering his warriors, proclaims
Sven: he certainly fathered this battlefield real hard
* Vasily repreps up some major image
Vasily: Care to make an appearance to your followers?
DM\Arcturus: "See now the favor of the Allfather! Our prayers have been heard, and our valor and strength rewarded!"
Nikolai: I do but it's ok I don't need help
Nikolai: turns out being god has its perks.
Vasily: ah
Vasily: fair enough
Nikolai: so
DM\Arcturus: "We hold this land against the fiends of Jotunheim, and we will hold it against all our enemies!"
Nikolai: I'm going to go ahead and manifest there
Nikolai: now
DM\Arcturus: Ok.
Sven: I think Thor "The Hammer Is My Penis" Odinson needs a refresh too
Nikolai: and I assume everyone is sufficiently believing
Nikolai: such that they can all see me
Vasily: Tell them what they should believe in.
Nikolai: and this is like
DM\Arcturus: Oh yes
Vasily: Read off your belief system.
Vasily: it'll be the manifesto manifestation!
Nikolai: Ok so:
Nikolai: Allfather Nikolai blesses this victory.
* Nikolai sweeps his hand across the battlefield
Sven: quick - grant some spell slots to really make it official
Taras: (And assures a seat in valhalla to all who fell?)
Nikolai: Those who fell in glorious battle now rest in Valhalla for their eternal feast.
Taras: (Yay \o/)
DM\Arcturus: A deafening roar of cheering goes up from the crowd at that
Nikolai: I bid those who lived on to continue to win many victories in my name.
* Nikolai disappears in a flash of heavenly light and ravens
Nikolai: many more victories*
Nikolai: is how that should have read
Taras: God, what a slip up.
Nikolai: :(
Taras: :3
Nikolai: :p
DM\Arcturus: Hakon, grinning at the overawed crowd, yells "You see! It is as I said! Now, let us return home, feast, and drink to this day, until our cellars have run dry!"
DM\Arcturus: There's another cheer, and, picking up the bodies of their fallen comrades, the Varangians set off toward home
Nikolai: Yay!
Nikolai: \o/
DM\Arcturus: You, meanwhile, feel a surge of devotion
* Nikolai flex
Nikolai: woo
Nikolai: Feels like *winning*.
DM\Arcturus: Ok
DM\Arcturus: Looks like we are done here tonight
* Nikolai thanks his comrades for a battle well fought
Taras: A surge of.... "devotion"
Taras: wink wink nudge nudge
Albrecht: looks like it
Albrecht: good violence
Taras: a wink's as good as a nod to a blind bat
Albrecht: we got what, 12 xp or so?
DM\Arcturus: I will calculate XP tomorrow
Nikolai: I owe you a debt of gratitude for aiding my new flock.
Sven: hey
Sven: we ate many things
DM\Arcturus: There wasn't a whole LOT of loot there, but you guys DO get a set of Ivory Goat figurines of wondrous power
Taras: A debt of gratitude from a god eh..
Vasily: Can't say I liked those goblins.
* Taras smirks and strokes his chin
Sven: and just because we didn't roll so many dice doesn't mean we didn't solve the shit out of some combat
Vasily: And a divine favor, eh?
Boris: So as a favor we get to sit on the chair right?
Nikolai: Nope.
Vasily: Can I keep the divine favor?
Boris: :(
Taras: Your head would explode.
Nikolai: As a favor you get to NOT sit in the chair.
Boris: it wouldn't!
DM\Arcturus: (someone record that please, and distribute at your choosing)
Nikolai: This is me looking out for you
Vasily: alrighty... 
Albrecht: alright, bedtime
Vasily: time to flee
Taras: Nikolai, wouldn't his head explode?
Nikolai: so
Nikolai: 3x Ivory Goats?
Taras: It would, wouldn't it.
Nikolai: It might not actually literally explode.
Taras: Wait... what about Cronus
DM\Arcturus: Well
Nikolai: But... he'd probably be a drooling idiot
Taras: Would reality explode?
DM\Arcturus: Ivory goats come in sets of 3 specific, different figurines
Nikolai: Nah Cronus is sealed dude.
DM\Arcturus: You have one set
Boris: Cronus is deaded and shit
Boris: night folks
DM\Arcturus: Night
Nikolai: ok, recorded
DM\Arcturus: Questions, comments?
***: Boris is now known as mrcab
Nikolai: how many worshippers am I up to
DM\Arcturus: A bit under 2k
Nikolai: so close I can taste it
Taras: Wait there are like
Taras: god achievement scores
Nikolai: god levels.
DM\Arcturus: What'd you guys think of the session
Sven: worship is delicious
Nikolai: well you don't need to ask me
Nikolai: I am sure you can tell
DM\Arcturus: It's true, I don't
Sven: it was a nice warmup to remind me how things work
DM\Arcturus: What'd everyone else think ;)
Sven: for when we all get eaten by epic fuckers
DM\Arcturus: lol
Nikolai: rofl
Sven: I was wondering what liches eat the other day
Sven: I think the answer is upstart druids
Nikolai: rofl
Nikolai: speaking of upstart druids
DM\Arcturus: I, for one, am glad I have such a huge desk here
Nikolai: what ever happened to teen druid squad
DM\Arcturus: I had five different books open in front of me
Vasily: Insufficiently large stuff rolled up
Nikolai: hahaha
Sven: aren't they still fine
Nikolai: well sometimes
Nikolai: it is nice to have a little curbstomp
DM\Arcturus: Teen druid squad is fine
Sven: I mean
Nikolai: Vasily imo was instrumental in having that one item that he made
Sven: at least one of them will have to live with being The Ugly One for their entire life
Nikolai: to get me a bunch of holy points
Sven: but otherwise fine
DM\Arcturus: haha
DM\Arcturus: As far as large stuff
Nikolai: yeah I think as chris said
DM\Arcturus: You have a whole demon lord in front of you
Nikolai: this was a good warmup
DM\Arcturus: Finish your sidequests imo
Nikolai: for when we actually do need to fight large stuff
DM\Arcturus: Adventurers are starving in Africa
Nikolai: hahahaha
Nikolai: adventurers in africa do not have enough sidequests!
Sven: is that another demiplane
DM\Arcturus: totally
Nikolai: they barely get by on escort missions every month
Sven: where everything is safaris and blessed rains
Nikolai: lions and tigers
Nikolai: only in kenya.
Sven: :|
Taras: "...the rains down in aaaaaafrica"
Nikolai: Ileana heads to Africa exploring
Nikolai: it rains
Nikolai: she is like
Nikolai: OW wtf
Nikolai: is this rain acid
Sven: only Nikolai could reasonably and significantly bless the rains down in Africa
Nikolai: nope
Nikolai: holy water.
DM\Arcturus: I find the following things amusing:
DM\Arcturus: Airship coming in handy
Sven: yeah wtf is that
DM\Arcturus: Also
Nikolai: you know
DM\Arcturus: Actually using Storm of Vengeance
Nikolai: my alternate plan was a rope trick
DM\Arcturus: To achieve objectives
Sven: yeah no one ever does that
Sven: and that's the best part
Nikolai: and hell yeah Storm of Vengeance
Sven: we used SoV because we weren't allowed to do effective things
DM\Arcturus: Like
Nikolai: it's a great armybreaker
DM\Arcturus: I was reading the spell
DM\Arcturus: And going
DM\Arcturus: What can these guys do to not get fucked by it
DM\Arcturus: And the answer was "nothing"
Nikolai: steel umbrellas.
DM\Arcturus: The speed an army can move is just not sufficient for gtfo'ing
Sven: I was all "let me make a mile of tornadoes" and everyone was like "no, that's too much, use a higher-level spell slot instead"
Nikolai: lol
Sven: fucking SoV
Nikolai: i mean seriously
Nikolai: a mile of tornados
Nikolai: there would have been no goblins left.
Sven: it wouldn't have been a mile
Nikolai: it would be a goblinado
Nikolai: like sharknado but with goblin corpses
mrcab: goblinado
DM\Arcturus: I do think
mrcab: nice
DM\Arcturus: That the divine casters concentrating on making forces of nature happen while the arcane caster and martials went to fight things
DM\Arcturus: Was thematically appropriate
Nikolai: yup
Nikolai: druids are great at war
Nikolai: so many armybreakers
DM\Arcturus: Now
DM\Arcturus: You guys gotta remind me of the following followups between now and next session:
DM\Arcturus: 1. XP
DM\Arcturus: 2. Results of questioning the dude
Nikolai: got it
Nikolai: willllll do
Taras: Taras is sooooooo up for #2
DM\Arcturus: anything else? I think that covers it
Nikolai: yep I think we are good
Nikolai: well
Nikolai: #3 is easy
DM\Arcturus: ?
Nikolai: it's just Nikolai telling Hakon what he's going to do now that he's a fucking devout Nikolai worshipper
DM\Arcturus: And what's that
Nikolai: which is to solidify his shit and expand toward the Spellkeeper's Keep
Taras: Does Valhalla run out of room?
DM\Arcturus: ok
Nikolai: it does not!
DM\Arcturus: And no Valhalla does not run out of room
Taras: Well that doesn't seem practical.
Nikolai: turns out Valhalla is good at bending space.
DM\Arcturus: Yep
DM\Arcturus: It does indeed
Taras: Valhalla... the last spacebender.
Nikolai: it's only not practical if you're some sort of chumpass mortal.
DM\Gaia: So
DM\Gaia: For reference
DM\Gaia: That battle used material from
Nikolai: 12 different source books
DM\Gaia: 4 different monster books
DM\Gaia: And custom shit
Nikolai: So like
Nikolai: if I manage to scrape together some more worshippers
Nikolai: and hit DvR 2
Nikolai: I'm thinking
Nikolai: Gift of Life
Nikolai: and the anti-Transmutation power
***: Sven has quit IRC (Client exited)
Taras: Wait
Taras: if you hit DvR 2
Taras: does that mean you can record Law and Order: SVU while you watch CSI:Mami at the same time?!
DM\Arcturus: ... lol
Nikolai: yep
Taras: D:
* Taras mindblown
Nikolai: totes
Nikolai: THE POWER OF GODS
Taras: (yeaaaaaaaaah)
Nikolai: /glasses
Taras: Monocle.
Taras: Mr. Odin
Taras: Sunmonocle.
Taras: You totally need an eye patch.
DM\Arcturus: Ian you meant this thing right:
Nikolai: have one
DM\Arcturus: Immunities: Gain immunity to one of the following:
DM\Arcturus: polymorphing, petrification, or any other attack that alters your form
Nikolai: yes
Nikolai: I did in fact
DM\Arcturus: Yep, seems like a good thing to have
Taras: What is Gift of Life?
Nikolai: it is True Res for no components in a Standard Action
Nikolai: it is like this 
Taras: !
Taras: 25000gp otherwise>'
DM\Arcturus: So like
DM\Arcturus: What do you mean "and"
Nikolai: Vladislav Chernovsky the evil lich kills the everloving fuck out of Taras because he ran his mouth
Nikolai: Nikolai sighs
DM\Arcturus: You're gonna spend XP on this?
Taras: Taras would never do that
Nikolai: and thinks real hard at the corpse
Nikolai: Well Sandy
Nikolai: I get 2 SDAs per DvR
Taras: Like one of the things taras would never do.
Nikolai: and last time you let me sub a thing off that list for one of them.
Nikolai: I have this recorded
Nikolai: timestamped and everything
DM\Arcturus: Hm
DM\Arcturus: Ok
DM\Arcturus: If I said it
DM\Arcturus: It must be true
Nikolai: You did
Nikolai: out loud
Nikolai: at Adam's house
DM\Arcturus: Wow
Nikolai: While reading the Deities and Demigods
DM\Arcturus: Said it with spoken words, eh
Nikolai: f
Nikolai: for Anton
Nikolai: when Josh had just made him a god
Nikolai: and you were like
Nikolai: oh shit
Nikolai: you get TWO SDAs per rank??
Nikolai: well fuck Ian I guess you get another SDA
Nikolai: and I was like
Nikolai: ok
Nikolai: they all suck
Nikolai: can I have Automatic Metamagic
DM\Arcturus: And you have this recorded eh
Nikolai: and you were like
Nikolai: :|
Nikolai: how about
Nikolai: you can pick from the list too
Nikolai: and I was like
Nikolai: awesome
Nikolai: I take immunity to level drain
Nikolai: and other types of drain
Nikolai: and yes I do
Nikolai: 	Immunity to energy drain, ability damage, and ability drain. (Additional ability replacing SDA per Sandy 6-21-2013 at Adam's house)
* DM\Arcturus looks at Automatic Metamagic
DM\Arcturus: Ok
Nikolai: see
DM\Arcturus: Looking at this SDA
DM\Arcturus: I remember this conversation now.
Nikolai: yep
Nikolai: so now any time you question this
Nikolai: I will just say
Nikolai: Automatic Metamagic
Nikolai: and that will fix it
Taras: You mean Autometamagic
DM\Arcturus: lol
Taras: Automatic Metamagic is dumb.
DM\Arcturus: Hm
DM\Arcturus: Let's see
Taras: Dumbdundant.
DM\Arcturus: What else do you even qualify for
DM\Arcturus: Alter Size!
Nikolai: woo.
Nikolai: :/
Taras: Permanent embiggening?
Taras: Of Taras?
Nikolai: no?
DM\Arcturus: of himself
Taras: Oh that's not embiggen other at will
Taras: pfft.
DM\Arcturus: Notes
DM\Arcturus: This ability allows the deity to assume any proportions from the size of a grain of sand up or as much as 1,600 feet tall. A radical change in size can have great impact on the deity’s combat ability.
Nikolai: there's totally one that does that that I totally can't get
DM\Arcturus: It's pretty cool but totally irrelevant to Nikolai
Nikolai: yep
Taras: Well unless something sees invis
Nikolai: oh you know what
Taras: at which point he emlittelens himself
Taras: to grain of sand
Nikolai: you never put actual rules text on these
Nikolai: Enhanced perception: special
Nikolai: Improved divine senses: special
Nikolai: Divine aura: special (15,000 XP)
DM\Arcturus: And I don't wanna.
Nikolai: :/
DM\Arcturus: Why would you make me do work
DM\Arcturus: Do you hate me
Nikolai: i mean
Nikolai: ok
Nikolai: fine
Nikolai: can I just have Automatic Metamagic instead then
DM\Arcturus: no.
Taras: hahaha
Nikolai: then I guess you better get on that shit.
DM\Arcturus: :|
Taras: :l
Taras: :}
DM\Arcturus: Ok one of these days
DM\Arcturus: A day that is not today
DM\Arcturus: Or tomorrow
Taras: (around the same day he tells me my new memories)
Nikolai: sure whatever no rush
Nikolai: I mena it's only been what
Nikolai: a year
Nikolai: since you posted that
Nikolai: oh wait no
DM\Arcturus: A year minus three days.
Nikolai: better
Nikolai: october 2012
Nikolai: so like a year and 3 months
DM\Arcturus: no the last post was Jan 30 2013
DM\Arcturus: The one you actually quoted
Nikolai: right but you first posted those abilities october
DM\Arcturus: Well
DM\Arcturus: Fine
Nikolai: and have since then never clarified them
***: Nikolai is now known as Sabin
***: DM\Arcturus is now known as Obormot\Arcturus
Sabin: I still want this
Sabin: Familiar
Sabin: A deity of rank 1 or higher with levels as a sorcerer or a wizard has the ability to treat any creature of a given kind as a familiar, as long as that creature is within a distance of one mile per divine rank of the deity. This special familiar ability only applies to one creature at a time, but the deity can switch between one creature and another instantaneously, as long as the second creature is within range. This special familiar ability does not replace 
Sabin: deity’s ability to have a normal familiar, which could be any kind of eligible creature.
Obormot\Arcturus: Call Creatures is a hilariously worthless SDA
Taras: If you make Taras your familiar he will hate you.
Obormot\Arcturus: "Each creature called can have no more Hit Dice than the deity has divine ranks, and the deity cannot have more creatures serving it at any given time than the deity has ranks."
Taras: Though me may grant you a sense of humor as a bonus
Obormot\Arcturus: That's a pretty OP familiar power
Obormot\Arcturus: I don't know if I'd allow it
Sabin: :/
Obormot\Arcturus: Clearsight is ridiculous
Obormot\Arcturus: Clearsight
Obormot\Arcturus: Prerequisites
Obormot\Arcturus: Divine rank 6, Wis 29.
Obormot\Arcturus: Benefit
Obormot\Arcturus: The deity can see illusions, transmuted creatures and objects, and disguised creatures or objects for what they really are, provided they are within 10 feet per divine rank of the deity. This ability is similar to the true seeing spell, except that it does not reveal creatures’ alignments and it does foil mundane disguises.
Obormot\Arcturus: Suggested Portfolio Elements
Obormot\Arcturus: Knowledge, truth.
Obormot\Arcturus: "and it does foil mundane disguises"
Sabin: come on
Sabin: god power
Obormot\Arcturus: Yeah I mean, SDAs are crazy awesome, we knew this
Obormot\Arcturus: I just find it amusing
Taras: Your batman mask doesn't fool a god.
Sabin: oh I could take Divine Recall
Sabin: really fuck with you that way
Taras: I like how he's looking at abilities for DM spite value
Sabin: no no
Sabin: it just sorta
Sabin: it's not spiteful
Sabin: it's definitely just everything Sandy hates,.
Sabin: so yeah maybe a little spiteful.
Obormot\Arcturus: :p
Obormot\Arcturus: What sort of event would you pick
Obormot\Arcturus: Hm I am curious about something
Obormot\Arcturus: I suspect this is a...
Sabin: every time a lich has ever created a phylactery 
Sabin: >_>
Obormot\Arcturus: Hm, interesting
Obormot\Arcturus: Yeah so...
Obormot\Arcturus: The thing about this ability is that how narrowly I interpret "event of a certain type"
Obormot\Arcturus: Is entirely up to me
Sabin: ok
Sabin: forget it
Obormot\Arcturus: There is zero rules or flavor text guidance
Sabin: Know Secrets
Obormot\Arcturus: Haha
Sabin: sadly
Obormot\Arcturus: Good old DM Discrection, foiling spitefulness since 1974
Sabin: it has a will save
Sabin: and is thuis worthless
Obormot\Arcturus: "every time a lich has created a phylactery" seems entirely reasonable as a type of event
Obormot\Arcturus: Of course it almost never happened.
Obormot\Arcturus: Maybe even never at all.
Obormot\Arcturus: Hmm
Obormot\Arcturus: Eh, no, actually yeah
Obormot\Arcturus: created a phylactery
Obormot\Arcturus: Yeah ok
Obormot\Arcturus: That works
Obormot\Arcturus: Of course it's likely not what you want.
Sabin: of course not :P
Obormot\Arcturus: No, I mean, even if that's what you wanted, that's not what you'd want
Sabin: right
Sabin: you would definitely not let me get any useful information out of that
Obormot\Arcturus: You are missing the point
Obormot\Arcturus: Which is that a dude who is trying to become a lich is not a lich when he creates his phylactery
Sabin: ah, here's the one Taras wants
Sabin: oh well
Sabin: fine
Sabin: :p
Sabin: pedantry
Obormot\Arcturus: And thus that doesn't fall into the category of "a lich creating a phylactery" ;)
Taras: hahaha
Taras: See Ian
Taras: your problem
Sabin: Grow Creature
Sabin: Benefit
Sabin: This ability works like the animal growth spell, except that it can affect up to one creature of the specified type per divine rank each day, all of which must be within the deity’s line of sight when first affected. The effect lasts one day.
Sabin: Notes
Sabin: A deity can have this ability multiple times, choosing a different type of creature each time.
Taras: is that Sandy reads Less Wrong
Sabin: Suggested Portfolio Elements
Sabin: Nature.
Sabin: that's not MY problem
Sabin: if anything
Sabin: MY problem is that I'm friends with him :P
Taras: Did that send?
Taras: The last part there got stomped by your paste in my client
Obormot\Arcturus: I mean, it's not pedantry, because if a lich is already a lich
Obormot\Arcturus: And if some dude breaks his phylactery
Taras: What I was saying
Obormot\Arcturus: And he makes a new one
Taras: is that your problem
Taras: is that Sandy reads Less Wrong
Obormot\Arcturus: Then that counts
Sabin: yeah I saw it matt
Obormot\Arcturus: But
Obormot\Arcturus: yeah.
Taras: I don't see it in my client
Taras: That is weird.
Sabin: but sandy
Sabin: if a dude is not a lich
Sabin: and he makes a phylactery
Sabin: and then becomes a lich
Obormot\Arcturus: That's clearly not a case of a lich making a phylactery
Sabin: then it's still a lich who made the phylactery, he just wasn't a lich at the time.
Taras: But that's not the event
Taras: You are targeting objective evernts
Obormot\Arcturus: If you want to play it like that
Taras: not subjective contexts
Obormot\Arcturus: Then the obvious response is
Sabin: times that people who were ever liches made phylacteries
Obormot\Arcturus: Every time A lich has created a phylactery, you say
Sabin: I mean I really don't :P
Sabin: but
Sabin: whatever
Obormot\Arcturus: So: uniform-randomly select a lich out of the set of all liches
Sabin: ha
Obormot\Arcturus: How many times has that lich created a phylactery?
Obormot\Arcturus: You remember all those times
Obormot\Arcturus: Grats.
Obormot\Arcturus: Is that lich Vladislav Chernovsky?
Sabin: whoa Gift of Life is WAY better than I thought.
Obormot\Arcturus: 1/num_liches probability of yes.
Sabin: waaaay better
Sabin: totally taking this if I ever get more worshippers.
Sabin: and can resurrect a creature whose soul is trapped, provided the soul is not held by a deity of higher rank than the one using this ability.
Obormot\Arcturus: Oh? In what way is it better than you thought
Sabin: ^
Obormot\Arcturus: I mean it's pretty sweet, it's just not clear to me how that benefits you exactly
Sabin: we're in that high level range where death is an inconvenience
Sabin: and soul trapping is significantly worse
Sabin: it's like
Obormot\Arcturus: Oh so if like
Sabin: death has transitioned to a status condition
Obormot\Arcturus: Some jerk traps the soul of one of your friends
Sabin: and soul trapping is The New Death
Sabin: it is like when Nikolai died that one time
Sabin: that was the level range when death was The Real Death and had all sorts of side quest shit attached to it
Sabin: now regular death is fixed by a spell
Sabin: and soul trapping requires sidequests
Obormot\Arcturus: Yes
Sabin: so yeah Gift of Life is hella good
Obormot\Arcturus: So now all of your Loki-worshipping friends can spend some time honing their standup act, made entirely of insults
Obormot\Arcturus: And go practice it on V. Chernovsky
Sabin: that would be the plan yes
Obormot\Arcturus: Without fear of soul-fuckery
Sabin: now Taras
Sabin: Taras really wants me to take Grow Creature
Sabin: because animal growth is a ridiculous spell
Sabin: and he'd be like
Sabin: king of town
* Taras would totally eat the chort
Obormot\Arcturus: rofl
Sabin: grants it a +8 size bonus to Strength and a +4 size bonus to Constitution (and thus an extra 2 hit points per HD), and imposes a -2 size penalty to Dexterity. 
Sabin: +8!!!
Obormot\Arcturus: Size, no less
Sabin: yes.
Obormot\Arcturus: Not one of them pesky non-stacking bonuses
Sabin: The creature’s existing natural armor bonus increases by 2. 
Taras: So +7 with barkskin..
Sabin: also irrelevant nonsense
Sabin: The spell also grants each subject damage reduction 10/magic and a +4 resistance bonus on saving throws.
Taras: I could take off my cloak
Taras: And do something else with it
Obormot\Arcturus: Now I need to rewatch that homestarrunner thing.
Sabin: perhaps use it as a tablecloth
Taras: Just like I have a free Head1 slot and vest slot
Sabin: or like a picnic blanket
Sabin: also kind of tempted to take the Spell Resistance perk and Increased Spell Resistance SDA
Sabin: and then never get hit by spells with SR Yes ever again
Sabin: it's like
Sabin: Vlad, buddy, you should be using a Conj (Creation) spell for this fight
Sabin: trust me
Sabin: and he casts all his nonsense and I lol at him
Taras: You're assuming he hasn't researched SR:No versions of popular spells
Sabin: Well
Sabin: yes
Sabin: I am assuming that, because that would be OP
Taras: He has a lot of resources, and a lot of free time.
Sabin: that doesn't allow him to do things that don't make sense.
Obormot\Arcturus: Undead Batman.
Sabin: I mean
Taras: Sure it does.
Sabin: maybe somewhat?
Taras: He makes sense
Taras: Literally what spell research is
Taras: Takes nonsensical things
Sabin: ok well
Sabin: let's say you research it
Taras: and then makes them sensisal
Sabin: and it turns out it's impossible
Sabin: violates fundamental rules of magic
Taras: Nope, doesn't happen in D&D
Sabin: that's not true at all.
Taras: Subgenre of try real hard magic
Sabin: totally happens.
Taras: Research real hard magic.
Taras: try/train real hard magic, rather
Sabin: as it turns out, whether a spell allows or doesn't allow SR is pretty easy to reverse engineer 
Sabin: and Sandy is a hardline proponent of SR
Sabin: and world cohesiveness
Sabin: so I doubt he'd allow only his villains to have spells that violate those rules
Obormot\Arcturus: Yep
Obormot\Arcturus: Hardline proponent
Sabin: which is why I think it would be *hilarious* to be walking around with 54 SR
Sabin: hiiiiiilarious
Sabin: but I won't do that
Sabin: THOUGH
Sabin: hm
Sabin: nah Sandy loves Su abilities
Obormot\Arcturus: Heh
Sabin: I'd be caster proof but then random monster #34 woudl be like
Sabin: gaze attack lol
Taras: What would it take to even be able to make 54SR
Sabin: CL 34 + roll a 20
Sabin: doable!
Sabin: like for example
Sabin: you can take a spare soul
Sabin: and consume it in casting a spell
Sabin: for +10!!! on the SR check
Taras: CL24 though...
Sabin: I am pretrty sure Chernovsky has CL25
Sabin: through archmage levels
Sabin: and maybe items
Taras: Oh you can item cheat that?
Obormot\Arcturus: Archmage levels ARE pretty sweet.
Sabin: yep totes
Taras: Is Archmage 1:1?
Sabin: well
Taras: It's just more mage levels?
Sabin: it can be
Sabin: it's Pick An Ability
Sabin: at each level
Obormot\Arcturus: Archmage can be as much as 2:1
Sabin: yeah so it progresses your Spells Per Day
Sabin: also it grants you an ability
Sabin: which can be Spell Power
Obormot\Arcturus: You get levels for your levels and then each level you can pick "+1 CL"
Sabin: at the low low cost of permanently consuming a L7 spell slot.
Taras: hmm
Obormot\Arcturus: We heard you liked spellcasting so we put some caster levels in your caster levels so you can succeed at caster level checks while you spellcast.
Sabin: amir totally has levels of that
Sabin: and I think he has like
Sabin: Energy Sub?
Sabin: aaand
Sabin: Some other junk
Sabin: maybe a Spell Power or two
Obormot\Arcturus: Yeah, Mastery of Elements is weet
Taras: A few levels of old and dyin!!
Sabin: yeah Mastery of Elements
Taras: Amirite?!?!
Sabin: and um
Sabin: Shaping
Taras: L20 bucket kicker
Obormot\Arcturus: So he's like
Taras: With 5 levels of Over The Hill PrC
Sabin: as it turns out
Obormot\Arcturus: I just threw a sonic meteor swarm at this melee full of dudes and none of my friends got hit by it
Obormot\Arcturus: And all the enemies did
Sabin: being old makes you a better spellcaster
Sabin: it doesn't make you better at living
Sabin: but it totally makes your meteor swarms hit better.
Obormot\Arcturus: Ironically, with all that Cha from being old, Amir gets more play than ever
Obormot\Arcturus: If only he had more years in which to appreciate it
Sabin: because there is some sort of direct relationship
Obormot\Arcturus: Some sort of.
Sabin: yep.
Sabin: so what's great is
Sabin: Nikolai is currently taking a similar class
Sabin: so if you know
Sabin: he ever gains a level
Sabin: he will be caster level 22!
Sabin: at character level 19
Taras: And also DR0
Sabin: wat
Taras: isn't nikolai divine rank 0?
Sabin: no?
Taras: he's 1?
Sabin: yes
Taras: So eating cronus gave you DR0
Sabin: you don't get to do all that cool stuff at 0
Sabin: yes.
Taras: and then sitting on the throne got you 1
Sabin: ys.
DM\Gaia: DvR 0 is when you have a divine spark but no worshippers
Taras: So like
DM\Gaia: Having the power of mortal devotion is what gets you nonzero divine ranks
Taras: 1 worshippers = DvR 1?
DM\Gaia: no
DM\Gaia: what?
Obormot\Arcturus: Clearly not.
Taras: Well how much mortal devotion is required
Taras: for a divine rank
Sabin: Nikolai, as he has his entire career, cheated a bit by taking Odin's shit.
Obormot\Arcturus: w = 5 * 10 ^ ((D+11)/5)
Obormot\Arcturus: approximately.
Sabin: no see
Sabin: oh
Sabin: the parens are balanced this time!
Obormot\Arcturus: Yep
Sabin: \o/
DM\Gaia: But yeah
DM\Gaia: There was cheatery
***: You are now known as Obormot\Gaia
Sabin: k bed
Obormot\Arcturus: Now
Obormot\Arcturus: Witness who is truly divine here
Taras: we need to keep meeting more than once every 4 months
Obormot\Arcturus: As I unveil a genuine miracle
Obormot\Arcturus: XP, posted on THE VERY DAY of a session!
Obormot\Arcturus: http://br.sabindeus.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=131
Taras: ohmai
Taras: I am so bad at keeping up with XP
Obormot\Arcturus: Ian posted totals earlier today...
Obormot\Arcturus: Sabin: Albrecht	Boris	Nikolai	Sven	Taras	Vasily
Obormot\Arcturus: Sabin:  182,718 	 182,578 	 165,660 	 182,824 	 182,379 	 177,750 
Taras: 183279
Taras: 182379*
Taras: getting clooooose
Taras: 3121...
Taras: Taras needs to find some things to fight on his own
Obormot\Arcturus: Oh well have I got news for you
Obormot\Arcturus: I was JUST TODAY (or was it last night? I forget) discussing a thought experiment about how each of the BR PCs would go about soloing a certain dungeon
Obormot\Arcturus: I conclude that Taras would be the worst at it
Obormot\Arcturus: But surely you can't let that conclusion stand
Obormot\Arcturus: Right?
Obormot\Arcturus: You gotta prove me wrong!
Obormot\Arcturus: Taras must surely go and find a dungeon to solo on his own
Taras: Taras would probably be the worst at it.
Obormot\Arcturus: Perhaps just be like
Taras: Due to low will saves combined with a lack of spellcasting
Taras: (And artifacts)
Obormot\Arcturus: Yeah you know, you guys are all too busy to go and show Geryon who is boss
Obormot\Arcturus: But I, Taras, have nothing better to do with my life
Obormot\Arcturus: I will do it myself
Obormot\Arcturus: Just give me a Gate, Nikolai, and I will handle it from there
Taras: It's not even nikolai any moe
Taras: I go to the skiddy
Taras: and ask someone there
Taras: Since we have a Fargate
Obormot\Arcturus: Well
Obormot\Arcturus: The gate can only operate between the Skidbladnir and the Acheron base
Taras: Yep
Taras: but people on the skiddy can send me elsewhere
Taras: Oh wait
Obormot\Arcturus: You mean
Obormot\Arcturus: Take you elsewhere
Taras: Geryon
Taras: Acheron.
Obormot\Arcturus: no, he is not in Acheron
Obormot\Arcturus: He is in Stygia
Taras: Hm
Taras: I could diplo my way out of it
Taras: I'm sure
Taras: Hm.
Taras: Apparently if you gun it on a train engine
Taras: you melt the tracks
Taras: http://cdn.twentytwowords.com/wp-content/uploads/train-burnout-02-634x475.jpg
Taras: The diesel engines on a train poiwer electric motors which have full torque at 0 RPM. A train engine with someone smashing the throttle forward will rip the couplings of the connecting cars or melt the track beneath it due to wheel spin
Obormot\Arcturus: Hm
Obormot\Arcturus: I watched both Conan movies recently
Taras: like arnold conan
Taras: or the new Khal Drogo conan
Obormot\Arcturus: The only Conan
Obormot\Arcturus: Anyway
Taras: Now I'm confused.
Obormot\Arcturus: Now I feel a distinct need for more Basil Pouledoris music
Obormot\Arcturus: So now I think it is time to watch
Obormot\Arcturus: The Hunt for Red October.
Obormot\Gaia: How is this movie so good
Obormot\Gaia: How
Obormot\Gaia: It's like magic
Taras: I won't deny that it's pretty good
Obormot\Gaia: A great day, comrades... we sail into history!